"when I feel a strong admiration from contact with something, I feel like an invisible thread begins to tie me to that person or thing." I know exactly what you mean. No, I am not a celebrity or anything like that. On the contrary, I work hard, am a single mother and have a lot of responsibilities. I've been extremely poor, mostly starting when I became a single mother. I am in fact two people right now: breadwinner and mother. I have had to become these two roles and I am not going to lie, I am tired. I was never quite willing to sell my soul though to make a living and my illness of about 2 years ago taught me a lesson: I cannot exist within a greedy corporate environment and come out alive. My poverty of several years thrust me into desperation and in that desperation, I got a job selling Toyotas at a car dealership. That job relieved my financial worry, but I became ill, all the time. My health deteriorated while my pocketbook flourished. I ended up with pneumonia that lasted half a year. But what sealed it for me was when my child looked up at me one night after I did a 10 hour shift and said, "Mom, I don't even know who you are anymore. You're never here." I quit that car dealership job right after that.