It's About Self Improvement

We all have our up and downs. Not every day can be a great day, but that's being human. Perfection is not possible being human, yet we do our best. Well I know that I do.

We strive to succeed in many avenues, from school to relationships to our finances. It is some juggling act, a an act I do not perform very well. I do try lots of things for I am abundantly full of ideas. Sometimes I call my ideas schemes. I am in an never ending cycle of schemes to better myself. Have any worked? Some have, yet they fizzled out early on me. I learn a lesson every day. Sometimes my lessons are tough to swallow, yet I do it.

Self improvement is a tall order in my life. Struggling with anxiety makes all my goals and dreams seem so far away. There are days when I have so much energy to burn and other days I cannot get out of bed. The biggest challenge is driving my car. I had a panic attack on top of a bridge many years ago and it changed my life. Many days I feel as though I must start from scratch and that is not a feeling that I enjoy. 

Driving has been a source of joy for me for many years. I called it my quiet time, my idea place, and my positive energy place. Unfortunately now I have moments of fear and dread before I enter my car. Anticipatory anxiety is a horrible feeling that has crippled my world. The astonishing part is that all the emotions are before I enter the car. Once I am behind the wheel, fired up and ready to drive, that all the anticipation withers away. There is about a five percent residual emotion of angst, but luckily it is a fleeting moment of it.

So as I live to improve my health in mind, body, soul and emotion I have a lot to do. Making a vision board is one of the many little projects that I have going on. I refuse to give up or give in to anxiety and depression. It does not define me yet I now know that my life has been thrown onto another path. 

Embracing self improvement or self maintenance is a job that I do not mind for there is always room for improvement. A bad day can turn into a good day. A frown can turn upside down. 

What can we do to improve ourselves? I would love to read your ideas. It may spark something for me to try.