[...] no success unless you're well connected/

This seems to be one of the worst structural things of societies like that. Without some kind of impersonal way to interact favoritism, nepotism, bribes, etc. are the only way to get by, and if you can't play the game you're out of luck. On the other hand cronyism is very similar in structure, though the transactions exist at higher social levels (ruling class, etc.) and they still indirectly affect the average person.

I think, like rules in a game, we need agreements which go beyond our natural inclination to be tribal, brutal and arbitrary in our favor. Either that or return to live in social cells small enough where that can still work.