Untouchables, beyond imagination

❗This is the English version of the post Intoccabili, oltre ogni immaginazione, originally published in Italian in the ITALY community.

If the legendary Brian De Palma were still in full creative activity, he would probably seriously consider making a sequel to one of his most successful masterpieces, "The Untouchables". The film, based on the autobiography of police officer Eliot Ness, tells the story of the formation and exploits of the team that managed to arrest Al Capone.

The second chapter, however, would no longer feature the same protagonists, nor would it focus on the imprisonment of the boss or his scheming—first to get himself transferred to a hospital and then to convince judges to halve his sentence—but rather on another group of untouchables, closer to home, also in homage to the director’s Italian roots.

It would no longer focus, at least initially, on the world of organized crime, but instead on sports—on the only football team in Italy that has never been called upon to pay the price for its mistakes, whatever their nature.

I usually don’t like writing posts using other people’s words, but today I sincerely believe I couldn’t find any better than those used by Luigi Schiffo in an article published on the tuttojuve.com portal.

I’m sharing it below exactly as it is; you can find the original version at this LINK.

For one club in Italy, there is a separate system of rules

Maybe the time has come for someone at the FIGC (perhaps the president or the federal prosecutor) to say it clearly: for one club in Italy, there is a separate system of rules.

Fake passports? What forfeits for every match played by the player involved—just a nice plea bargain and off you go. Should it be relegated for sporting fraud? There’s the statute of limitations. Fixes the balance sheet with a barrage of capital gains, thanks to the “wizard of capital gains”? A fine is enough.

Doesn’t communicate the change of ownership of a significant share of the club as required? Nobody says a word. Has a president who is blocked in his home country due to legal issues? Doesn’t matter. Then ends up bankrupt? By then the owner is someone else, then someone else again. Nobody really knows who it is? What matters is that they put in the money.

It’s the only one allowed to have a betting agency as a sponsor, something prohibited by law? Come on, it’s just a website. Are there fake sponsors listed in the balance sheet? And where’s the problem?! On the contrary, an honorary degree for the president in marketing and global markets.

The coach, intercepted, guarantees efforts to secure hundreds of tickets for criminal ultras? Nothing strange—how could you play a Coppa Italia final without the support of the twelfth man! Ultras infiltrated by the ’ndrangheta are involved in wars for control of the stands that lead to two murders? Just criminal matters—football has nothing to do with it; in fact, it’s the “injured party” (even though there are direct links with the club certified by the judiciary).

A player insults an opponent with racist expressions? You misunderstood—he just meant to “blacken” him. In fact, if the federal president meets him, he wants to hug him. He gives the middle finger to opposing fans after a goal? Normal celebration.

The captain swears after a defeat? Oh come on… it was all done with artificial intelligence! He only said he has an “organic vegetable garden”… Certified by the Gentleman of the Year Award! The same captain celebrates by climbing barriers or showing a shirt with a dedication (actions forbidden by the regulations and punishable with a booking)? Just glorify him for those very gestures, maybe on the front page.

An ultra throws a pipe bomb that injures and stuns the opposing goalkeeper? It’s an isolated hooligan—banning organized fan groups from three away games is enough, derby excluded of course (certainly not a closed stand for two matches or away bans for the whole season like for others). I’m surely forgetting something, but I think the picture is quite clear. The show must go on, the Queen would sing.

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