Integrity

Welcome to another blogging episode. Let’s talk about intergrity.

What does it mean to be "true to yourself"?

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We all have values and core principles we hold unto on growing up. Some are the ones that were instilled in us by our parents and others are what we picked up from other people along the way as we grow.

Being true to one’s self would simply mean holding up these values that make up our core. So when I am true to myself means that I do not want to bring myself to a point where I compromise what I have believed was good or the way I see things.

This can be dicey too because of everyone had to be true to themselves in their own way that would mean them upholding whatever beliefs they have or values they have whether it’s good or not.

We cannot generalize that every one is true and should there be true to themselves. A dubious person would tell you that he’s being true to himself because that’s what he actually know and that’s how he lives, so even in the midst of doing wrong, he would say he’s just being true to himself.

Unless we want to put it literally as the word true which would have to do with us bringing ourselves to that point where we judge the right things right and vice-versa despite what it we think or hold.

Why is it important for people to keep their promises?

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Keeping to Promises is like a reflection of our inner intergrity but funny enough most people do not understand this. Most people do not know the power of a promise or what negative effect they have on people when they don’t keep to their promise.

Alot of people who lack intergrity do not care about their promises. To them it’s like a joke and every other careless word they throw out there daily hence holding unto their promise is like you hurting yourself by yourself.

People need to learn to keep to their promises because it’s a show of character and when they fail to keep them, they make people loose trust in them and would never take their words seriously no matter what.

There’s this friend of mine that never keeps to his promises. He makes me promises and I hang on them with my entire life only to be disappointed over and over again. One day I had to confront him and he said he doesn’t take those things seriously.

I was shocked and hurt at the same time. At one occasion he even told me that that promise he made me is the least thing on his mind now. Can you imagine? And this was after I have been following him around for days to fulfil a promise made.

Since then I had to distance myself from him and that friendship is no longer there. How can I be friends with someone that I can’t hold him on his words? He lost my trust and that was how the friendship crippled. Sometimes he keeps asking why we are no longer close. What do you expect when you words hold no water?

That’s what happens when we don’t keep to our promises. I know how I get hurt when people don’t keep to the promises they made me hence I try as much as possible to always keep to my promises to others because it matters a lot and I do not want to hurt them.

What's the difference between being honest and being nice?

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Being honest is always telling the truth at all times and calling a spade a spade and not a shovel. Been honest is being transparent in our dealings and relationships with other and not having anything to be shady about or lie about.

Being nice is extending care and kindness to other people. One can be honest and not be a nice person to other people and another person can be nice but not an honest person.

There are many seemingly nice people but when you have a relationship with them, they are not honest. They can be caring for you and be dealing with you and vice versa.

Both honesty and being nice to others are good virtues that everyone should have. None should be left to the detriment of the other.

If your friend asked you to lie for them to get out of trouble, would you do it? Why or why not?

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In the spirit of integrity and character, it is always nice to have boundaries and let the people who are your friends and that you relate with to know your boundaries.

My friends know that I cannot lie because of them. If they ask me to, I’d willingly tell them that I can’t do it. It’s not inline with my character to lie so I would politely decline.

Just two days ago, a woman was telling me to lie to my Roomate about something she was supposed to do so that she can get money for what she didn’t do. I didn’t even answer her.

When she saw me again, she didn’t ask cos she knew that what she said wasn’t right. So I wouldn’t lie to cover up for anyone. Everyone should deal with their issues and not make me compromise my standards in the name of friendship.

If you break your boundaries, you will keep breaking it. Even if the friend gets angry, at the long run, she or he will know that you were right by insisting on not lying. A lie told would require many more lies to cover it up. So no lying. Of they are really my friends, they should respect my choice and boundaries.