Built to Last!

If only the cry of my voice could be heard, if only my mind could be seen and if only my tears could be visible enough!

I have thought of what I could do to be better, to heal and to stay put. What can I do to be the best version of the life I want, what can I do to make me proud and stay dedicated in my words and promises.

I keep going back on my words and it hurts, I repeating the same thing over time and it still hurts, I have wondered why it keep happening, why I see myself on that same thing I said no to. I have tried to push, to maintain my lane, to focus but still, in all of that, I return back to it.

If God my creator could help me get better because I know he helps those who call to him for help, he hears our secret tears and he is ever present. I want to look back to my life and see where I used to be, I want to live a fulfilled life in peace and joy without any contradiction, I want to always see me as I wish to be seen.

I want to be better, but don't know how is something that eats me up daily, something that gets me so worked up and restless. Can I ever get better? Can I ever witness my life the way I want it? Can it ever be possible with God to make me better? Or has God given up on me?

I wish to stay so quiet, out from the regular noise of this life, out from the troubles, the distractions, the mental stress, the chaos, and reflect, meditate, re-programme my life. This would help me heal, stay focused, dedicated, and find myself again. I am not who I want to be, although I am learning, I am building and I am becoming. It only takes a process for anything to be completed so I am ready to pass through the process.

I am ready to walk the way, pass through the process and see the end. I cannot fail, and I cannot fall, I just want to be better and I will for I am built to last!