The Begining of my Becoming!

There was a time when I believed becoming someone better meant having everything figured out. I thought confidence was something people were born with, like a fixed trait that some had and others didn’t. Because of that belief, I often stayed quiet, afraid of saying the wrong thing or making mistakes that would expose my weaknesses.

In school and even at home, I would watch others speak freely, make decisions quickly, and carry themselves without hesitation. I admired them, but at the same time, I felt distant from that version of myself. I told myself I was just “not like them,” and I accepted fear as part of who I was.

One day, I was given a simple task that required speaking in front of others. My heart raced even before my name was called. I remember my hands shaking as I stood up. For a moment, I wanted to sit back down and pretend I wasn’t ready. But something inside me refused to let me run again.

My voice broke at first. My words were not perfect. I forgot a few lines and had to pause more than once. I could feel my face burning with embarrassment, and I was sure I had failed completely.

But something unexpected happened afterward. Instead of criticism, I received encouragement. Someone told me, “You did better than you think.” At first, I didn’t believe it. But later, I began to realize that the real failure would have been not trying at all.

That moment didn’t make me confident overnight. I still struggled with fear many times after that. But something changed, I stopped seeing mistakes as proof that I wasn’t good enough. Instead, I started seeing them as part of learning.

Now I understand that becoming is not a single event. It is a slow process of showing up even when you feel unready. It is choosing to try again after embarrassment. It is learning that growth is not about perfection, but persistence.

And little by little, I am becoming someone I once thought I could never be.