Why I Left Discord Chat
Hey everybody!
I had a topic on my mind that was a little more pressing than BuzzSteem today, that I really wanted to talk about.
Why did I leave most of the Discord Chats?
Well, I'll tell ya.
- I created a chat room specifically for women and was chastised about it for creating divisiveness.
This is a ridiculous two part problem. First and foremost, women are in the extreme minority as it is on Steemit and Dtube. Most of the people in the chat rooms are men, and therefore, it is already unequal. Creating a place where women can be the majority is not divisive.
Secondly, the females are NICE ENOUGH not to blow the lid off of EXTREMELY INAPPROPRIATE comments they have received in private chat, but rather civilly discuss them amongst those that they know they won't be judged by. I have attempted to discuss this inappropriateness with other men, hoping to find allies and was given the good ole boys club response of "men will be men."
Newsflash for any men reading this: It's NOT ok to tell someone in private chat that you will assist them with a technical question if, and only if, they "SEND YOU BOOBIE PICS". Firstly, we are God Damn adults, and they are breasts, not boobies. Secondly, REALLY.....I mean...... REALLY? Oh and it is also not appropriate to tell them everything you have envisioned doing to them in your spank bank. WHY???? It's like sending a textual dick pic. Why do men think women want to see that? Ahhhh Steemit, the utopian paradise I've always dreamed of!
- The drama is astounding.
Being part of some of the Dtube Discord channels, and being private messaged on the side, is much akin to playing A Game of Thrones. I even got roped into it. (Who is talking about who? Who is doing what? Who is getting what upvote? Are people after me? And on...and on....and on....)
Ya know where I never experienced that drama? In the Steemit comments. Do you know why? Because it's transparent, and most people don't say gross things or bully you when other people can see it. Discord's privacy allows for abuse and drama.
- You don't get paid to Discord.
The WHOLE POINT of Steemit and Dtube, the thing that sets it aside as a social media, is the fact that you get paid. Why would you spend the whole day in a place where you don't get paid anything? I know, I know, relationships, bonds, etc. Do you know that that's possible to do, even just using Steemit, and I dunno, watching people's videos and getting to know who they are through that?
My advice to you is to analyze the amount of time you have been spending on the Discord and try to cut back even just a little! I have felt much better since, and think you will too!
Catch ya later!
-Beth
▶️ DTube
▶️ IPFS
Hmm, I'v been on steemit for just a few days. was invited to join the discord group, I did but i don't even know the essence of being in the group... I only joined because of the steem school classes and i'v not been able to meet the clsss due to the difference in time...i check up on them from time to time but see nothing. I scroll up just incase i missed something important but see nothing..and then i can't send messages to some other channels like poetry channel... Your advice sounds like a good idea..
And then the females only chat room would have been amazing too..😔
Buh is there a way we can protest or something..? Females wahyasay! 🙅
I will try to find you on discord and send you the link to the female group! The discords can be super overwhelming!
Alright, Thanks❤
So you made a discord room for women and there was drama? Gee what a surprise. lol Women sure do seem to go at each other for some reason. I think I've already probably commented way too much. I should probably run away like you did. #smart lol
Yes, women are so dramatic. What a new stereotypical concept you've just discovered. Clever.
Actually, it was the men causing the drama, that forced the women into seclusion. The men who were private messaging women to either hit on them, send them inappropriate pics, or bitch about other people.
My point was that men were somehow offended and victimized by the creation of the all-female discord chat room, when by sheer majority alone, they pretty much run the main chat anyway, and this should have been a non-issue. But, you're right, creating a discord for women did create drama...from the men...gee what a surprise.
Men say and do what they want in the discords and it is A-OK. Women want a place of their own to talk to each other without fear of repercussion or mistreatment though, and everyone loses their minds!
Similar to the bro-rage in Texas when women wanted to, gasp, have an all female showing of Wonder Woman.
Please though, do tell me more about how vicious and dramatic women are.
Sorry I was going by personal experience. When I worked with women they seemed to fight with each other. On my Facebook there seems to be drama between women but also women and their baby daddies. With the women and the baby Daddies I think I would generally side with the women about 75% of the time.
On the bright side women drama is generally not as dangerous as male drama. Women seem to take a lot of digs at each other whereas a guy might "just" try and murder another dude after like 30 seconds instead of being catty for years.
I have a discord account. I talked to one person on it so far. I'm scared I might go into a room and have some whales flag me into oblivion. lol
Can't you kick the guys out of your discord room?
There aren't any guys in the discord room that we have now. But the ones that were in the other room have kind of a lot of power. I didn't realize how much power until I pissed off the wrong one and stopped getting dtube upvotes for a while. I guess that was my "be nice or pay the price" warning.
If you want to be smothered by fake positivity, any of the dtube discords are the place to be. It's really not my thing.
Sorry to come off so salty. I have just been having to go into defense mode the last few days. You really seem quite nice. Thanks for all your thoughtful responses.
Wow that would REALLY suck. That's one of the reasons I am scared to go on Discord. If I made a whale mad my account could be in jeopardy.
Overall I wish Dtube worked better and I wish some of the Dtubers would blog. I think the big Dtube upvote pulls people away from Steemit. So far I haven't been convincingly lured into Discord but there are a few people I wouldn't mind talking to on there.
Yeah my original comment probably came off bad especially since I'm pretty unfamiliar with how Discord works. If you own a room in Discord can you ban people?
Do you know about @dustsweeper? My solo upvotes don't count.
I completely understand your decision, I also agree a lot of time can be lost but for myself it is a choice to try help others through creating connectivity and added guidance for particularly new users!
Notes taken my dear, good for you making the decision that brings you the most positivity! Sometimes in life we need to realize when it’s time to rip the Band-Aid off.
You will always have my support as through support from others I have found my direction and I will continue to pay that forward!
Stay strong, keep it real!
You are awesome! Thanks for the kind reply! :)
Yup. I'm lucky in that I got into DTube and Discord though DTube Daily and that's remained my kinda safe space. it was only after that that I came into some of the other channels and I just can't keep up with it all. DTube Daily still has that vibe where we are actual friends - not with everyone of course, but you form your own relationships within the group and the support is second to none. We have regular virtual meetups and that really helps to consolidate the relationships. If it gets much bigger though, I imagine it'll get unwieldy and difficult to keep up with.
Time though, right? It's as finite for me as for everyone else and Discord really does eat up huge amounts of it. Is it really part of the hustle? I think that's down to the individual. I think without it I might have found myself feeling like an outsider.
Anyway, enough about me. I enjoy your content Beth. You're a hard worker, creative, funny and honest. It's a winning combo!
Aw that's so sweet. I have never been in on Dtube Daily, though I don't know why since I have been Dtubing Daily since late December! :)
I have def been made to feel like anytime I voice any concern about anything, I'm just being a Negative Nancy and it's so frustrating! Honestly, I think it has forced a lot of people into private chat too, because not everything can be positive and happy all the time. I have made some solid relationships too, so for that I am very lucky and thankful.
It is a total time suck though, so there is that, haha.
Your content is great as well! Hopefully if we just keep at it, we will one day reap what we have sown here on Steemit and Dtube! One can only hope!
It sounds like small dick syndrome to me. Fortunately, some men aren't like that.
I somehow always seem to have run-ins with the ones who are. I guess because I say vulgar things and joke about sex, that it's an open invitation for guys to say what they want to me.
Im with ya, I even kinda feel the same about curation trails tbh. Love your honesty. Too many people trying to "make it" and soley focused on getting power and getting upset when they dont get the recognition. Love this!
Yeah it's all very...cult-y. I have never been much of a rah-rah gal. Those conferences where everyone is there to "build each other up" give me diabetes, so to find so much of that in the discord is nauseating.
And it's not that I have a black heart, though, that's questionable hahaha, but like it's just not genuine. I have NEVER been a fan of words. I tell my hubs this all the time. "blah blah blah" is all I hear until something actually gets done, or changes, and ya know what? Most of the time it doesn't, which cements my reason for only hearing "blah blah blah". Don't tell me you'll help me, HELP ME. Don't TELL me you're going to get to the dishes, get up and do the dishes. Don't say that you love me, if you aren't going to do the things that show it.
I apply that to a lot in my life, and here is no exception. People SAY to be positive, support each other, etc, and then turn around and stab each other in the back in private chat. I will not lie here and say that I have never talked shit. I totally have, I can be a beyotch. Whatevs, but I am not out there peddling this "positive" bullshit either, and frankly, sometimes someone just has to say something. I have paid dearly for it, but I'm not going to live a lie either, it's dumb. That's not me. I support people in my Steem circle by upvoting them, resteeming their stuff, I used to do a daily Steem show recognizing people, like Reseller does now. That's how I "supported the community". I see that the majority of people peddling "support" seem to only really care about themselves in their videos and such. "My videos are to help other people". Bullshit, some of these videos exist because people like to hear themselves talk. I like to make people laugh. I like to sing. That's why my videos exist, but I also try to help people by actually meaningfully interacting with them on the blockchain.
Anyway, I'mma drop this mic and be on my way. Thanks for your reply! Sorry this got so long!
Put out my honest response to your video :)
https://steemit.com/life/@aarongmunoz/kv0wtpo1
lol dont apologize! Thats the way my wife & I def strive to live too. H.O.T life, Honest, Open, Transparent.
Hi Beth. Don't leave the ladies group haha. I'm agree with you about discord group I don't know people in the group at all. I do want to know people in there but I can't follow all what they are talking about and I don't know what to say also. I feel that your videos are real and you are very open about it. I like the way you are :)
We should strike up more convo in that discord for sure!
Do you still have the ladies discord chat? I would love to join that one. I think that it is ridiculous that people are sending such inappropriate responses as we are adults and that should never be the case. Also, "men will be men"is such a terrible way to address this... it's common courtesy to not make someone feel uncomfortable. Thanks for addressing this!! I think it is an important thing to point out and no one should make you feel down -- especially for simply just forming another discord channel for women here.
I do! I can send you the link!
Honestly, I think once a creep always a creep. Some people just think they can say or do whatever they want without recourse. It's frustrating, but that's been my personal experience.
Yes -- please send it to me!! :) & you are exactly right. Social media has its pros but among the MAJOR cons are that people feel like they can say anything they want to others and often cyberbully. I always say this but I couldn't imagine being an impressionable kid on social media these days. Glad you had the courage to speak your mind on this topic and not give AF. haha
Dang. I think having a woman's voice channel is a great idea and those opposing it are the ones creating discord on Discord. Glad you stood up for this problem. I'm sad to hear about it, but not surprised.
discord on Discord. I love it! :)
Without discord plankton will suffer for food like me.
But I agree with you on all the points you mentioned, we need women on the blockchain, it's just that some girls/lady are not technically incline with the Internet.
Some lack Internet literacy, some dont have gadget and many find it hard to understand crypto in particularly.
But the aspect of men doing that shameful deed in dm is animal like in behaviour and disrespectful
Well I mean, in the crypto sphere, I am a female who has educated MANY men about how it all works. Men who didn't even know what blockchain was, or had never heard of Steem. I think most people in general have a hard time wrapping their head around crypto. It's pretty mind-blowing. But yes, men have acted like animals in the discord, and I am sadly not shocked.
It would be nice to learn at your feet too but I always tell myself ;
"don't let other people's attitude / behaviour control my decision"
Who knows if there is someone there(discord) who will Need your knowledge if you desert discord wholly lol
Well done on your humble part promoting steemit and cryptocurrency to all gender.
But Facebook, twitter, Instagram are profitless and a waste of time unlike discord