Best Lame Joke Contest-Winner Gets 1 sbd
This will be a seven day contest, with the best lame/bad/awful joke winning one sbd. Top vote getter (minus bot votes of course) in the comment section will also get something, something really nice too. Yeah I know, 1 sbd, not life changing, and NO that is not my sample joke. Here it is....
Why did Ricky Nelson start masturbating at the orgy? "You can't please everyone so you gotta please yourself."
Dated and raunchy doesn't get much worse than that. Half of the people are going to have to google who Ricky Nelson even is. If you google Ricky Nelson, Garden Party, lyrics. And give the tune a listen, you have probably heard it before. If you give some his real golden oldies a listen you may start wondering "Did he sing every song on the oldies station?"
Alright steemit, do your worst...
Photo
If you think this contest is juvenile and far too stupid for you to take part in check this one out--it's way better than this pile of ------.
https://steemit.com/contest/@vdux/enter-my-contest-now
This is what you have to look forward to crypt:
How can you tell if your wife is dead?
The sex is the same but the dishes pile up.
you received an up vote from danlupi with voting power of 93.98%. Estimated dollar amount of $4.18
The force is with you! You got a 25.00% upvote from @steemyoda courtesy of @unleashpower!
Wow that is terrible unleashpower. This is what I was talking about, excellent submission.
haha... yes terrible but true... If you ever get married @cryptkeeper17, you will find out it works this way for sure! Sad that it seems funny, but only because its true ;)
The force is with you! You got a 25.00% upvote from @steemyoda courtesy of @unleashpower!
Here's another funny marriage joke for our consideration Mr Cryptkeeper17:
How is a marriage like a hot bath?
Once you get used to it, it's not so hot
you received an up vote from danlupi with voting power of 51.46%. Estimated dollar amount of $2.21
Here's a funny one, not so lame, but maybe lame enough for you to consider!https://steemit.com/contest/@ilovepoorpeople/round-2-sarcastic-giphy-of-the-day-contest#@ilovepoorpeople/re-rentmoney-re-ilovepoorpeople-round-2-sarcastic-giphy-of-the-day-contest-20180602t050515890z
What do electric trains and women's breasts have in common?
They were originally intended for children, but it's the men who play with them the most
The force is with you! You got a 25.00% upvote from @steemyoda courtesy of @unleashpower!
Here's one thankfully I haven't experienced, but for your info if you keep burning the midnight oil out there is crazy land @cryptkeeper17.
What's worse than waking up at a party and finding a penis drawn on your face?
Finding out it was traced.
You got a 3.07% upvote from @emperorofnaps courtesy of @unleashpower!
Want to promote your posts too? Send 0.05+ SBD or STEEM to @emperorofnaps to receive a share of a full upvote every 2.4 hours...Then go relax and take a nap!
What's blue and smells like red paint?
Blue paint.
ouch. that is lame, and perfectly awful.
What do you do when you break your toe?
Call the tow truck!
My mom's favorite joke that she told often and laughed every time.
It's not the joke that is funny always but the reaction! Too true @fitinfun most of the best are the reactions that we may even forget the content. Excellent call, I can see that being a hilarious inside joke right now.
I think it is my best and only joke now and I always think of my mom laughing like it was the first time she told it - every. single. time. :)
I know how that can carry on. We had a baseball coach that had an awful joke, you probably heard it about cemetaries, "How many people are dead in them? All of them." During a season we had a guy answer the question right away on our first bus trip of the season. And then it became a tradition for that year and the next two. Same guy always had to answer the coach before anyone could say anything. Horrible horrible joke, but the entire bus would erupt every time. Then in middle school, on the first day of a history class, a guy in my class made the horrible mistake of imitating the sound of the old pull down projector screen. The teacher made him mimic that sound every day that semester before he would start. That teacher was a genius in my book, the kid that wanted attention got tired of that after the first week. And the teacher never forgot and made him do it every single day before we'd start.
como se dice 12 en ingles tu entonces como seria 2222 !!! tuturutututu!!!
!pan dulce!
This post has received a $20.00 % upvote from @siditech thanks to: @cryptkeeper17.
Here's a banana!
I find that racist siditech you tossing me a banana while upvoting my lampooning comment of another culture because I barely have a clue what they are saying. Wait, no this hilarious! Thanks for contributing in the horrible joke contest!
You got a 20.00% upvote from @proffit courtesy of @cryptkeeper17!
Send at least 0.01 SBD/STEEM to get upvote , Send 1 SBD/STEEM to get upvote + resteem
What's red and bad for your teeth?
A brick
What about a brick dipped in melted candy canes? Excellent horrid joke @granolalight!
@cryptkeeper17 you have quite the vivid imagination... lol... How did you decide to make the bricks dipped in melted candy canes? Why didn't you pick fried iguana skin dipped in horseradish taco sauce to cover them?
The question what is red and bad for your teeth, and they said a red brick. Then I thought what would be even worse for your teeth is melted candy canes with that red brick dipped in since you know candy canes are sugary and how they are made are probably not the best for your teeth. If that iguana could change into the same color I would guess that is also pretty bad for your teeth and red too.
haha... now I see a little of how that genius mind of yours works.... me I just think of crazy shit and see if I can make it fit in there somehow. So what is red and bad for your teeth could also be your girlfriends diary. If you get caught reading it, and it gets whipped at you and you catch it in the teeth, then that would be something red and bad for your teeth too ;)
The force is with you! You got a 32.89% upvote from @steemyoda courtesy of @unleashpower!
You got a 3.07% upvote from @emperorofnaps courtesy of @unleashpower!
Want to promote your posts too? Send 0.05+ SBD or STEEM to @emperorofnaps to receive a share of a full upvote every 2.4 hours...Then go relax and take a nap!
Congratulations, your post received 20.61% up vote form @spydo courtesy of @cryptkeeper17! I hope, my gratitude will help you getting more visibility.
You can also earn by making delegation. Click here to delegate to @spydo and earn 95% daily reward payout! Follow this link to know more about delegation benefits.
you received an up vote from danlupi with voting power of 51.15%. Estimated dollar amount of $2.21
The force is with you! You got a 15.87% upvote from @steemyoda courtesy of @unleashpower!
You got a 24.87% upvote from @proffit courtesy of @cryptkeeper17!
Send at least 0.01 SBD/STEEM to get upvote , Send 1 SBD/STEEM to get upvote + resteem
I like my beer just like I like my women: tall, dark,
and flat
You got a 13.48% upvote from @t50 courtesy of @cryptkeeper17!
To use this service send a minimum of 0.010 SBD or STEEM to @t50 with the post you want upvoted as the memo.
Low Minimum Bids!
Increase Your Rep!
Draw Attention To your Post.
Earn Passive Income By Delegating SP to the Bot.
Overbid Protection
Voting processed every 2.4h (2,880 blocks).
@t50 follows all followers!
Invest and earn daily by delegating to the bot, we match or beat popular competitors.
If you do not want to receive upvotes from @t50 you can ask to be blacklisted by replying to this comment.
Whoa that's YOUR business proto26. Very creative, excellent entry.
What do you do if your dishwasher starts smoking?
Slow down and maybe try a bit of lube.
That is one way to make sure it never 'backs up on you.'
