I'm Giving Up!

I decided I'm going to quit steemit.

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Last Monday night, I sent a message to my friend @zoeroces, she's the one who introduced steemit to me. I told her...

Sis, I don't want to steem anymore...

I also sent a message to sir Terry @surpassinggoogle, I consider him as my steemit mentor and my idol. I told him...

Hi sir Terry, I'm thinking about quitting steemit now. I think I'm not really meant for it. But I still want to thank you and I just want to say, nice to meet you sir.

He replied,

Why isn't it meant for you?

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Earlier that night, I just joined a live singing contest on discord. It was a singing contest held by the group @steemitachievers. I tried my very best to sing even though I have a cough and colds. I practiced my piece all day. But unfortunately, I lost. Some say I have a good voice, but if that so, why didn't I win? maybe the compliment is just to thank me for joining. Maybe I'm not really a good singer. I felt disgusted with myself. I'm nothing but a trying hard person. Then I think of other contests that I joined on steemit. So, I excitedly log in to my account and check for the results of other contests that I joined. Hoping that I won in any of them but sadly, I lost in all of them. I started to cry. Have you ever felt the same way? Have you ever joined a contest or contests, tried your best, hoped that you'll win but you did not? I told myself, I'm a loser. Forever loser.

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I replied to Sir Terry while I'm sobbing...

Because I'm not good at it. I joined contests and did my best but always ended up losing... I spent a lot of time making long blog posts but only a few like it... I see many have seen or read it but only a few upvoted for it... It just means they don't like it.. it's nonsense.. it's a trash...

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Aside from the singing contest, I also joined poetry, movie guessing contest, commenting contest, art contest, etc. As a beginner in this platform, a minnow or a red fish, I'm still picking up some pieces. I started by learning the markdown basics, where to get pictures with CC0 License, learn how to draw, searched on how to create a post with valuable content, etc. Did you know how much time I have spent in each post? You have no idea. I'm not a professional artist. When I joined that art contest, I can't count how many papers I have crumpled and thrown in the trash bin. I even yelled at one of my kids when one of them tried to write something on my finished artwork. For others, maybe it will only take you a couple of minutes or an hour to create a poem but me? No, I can't. It requires a lot of thinking for me. Which words to use and which not. Which words perfectly suits that feeling that I want to express, that's really hard for me. When I joined that @jerrybanfield's swc contest, I took me overnight to think what story to share. And a couple of hours to search for the right images, resize the images, another couple of hours writing or typing my story, double-check the grammar, edit the formatting and alignment... etc. Then, when I posted it, only a few like it. I got only a few comments. The upvotes didn't even reach .20 sbd. I also joined the brokenhearted contest, told my story about my ex-husband which I never want to share with anyone before. It was hard for me to remember those days but I still wrote about it because I want to join the contest. But guess what? I only got .12 upvotes for that post. What does it mean? For me, it only means people here on steemit don't like me. It means my post is nonsense. It is just a piece of s**t. So, I asked myself, did I just wasted my time?? I think I did.

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Sir Terry replied,

no nonsense or trash involved

He sent more messages that I just ignored that time. Because I'm sad, I felt hurt, nothing or no words could lift me up. I just want him to understand how I feel... I told him,

I felt like I'm in the middle of the crowd, with so many people. I wanted to be recognized. But it is really hard to get noticed or to be heard. Because it seems like other people standing in front of me are much bigger, taller, more noticeable than me who has a louder voice than me. I'm losing hope... Even though I did my best, there is always someone better than me... that makes me feel ashamed of myself.

He said,

You don't have to be noticed...
Keep writing...

Again, I disregard his messages and just thanked him. I told him I would think about it. Then, I fall asleep with tears in my eyes.

The next morning, I have decided to just accumulate all the remaining sbd's I got and then I would never visit my account again. I have hidden all the group chats and unfollowed all the groups that I joined related to steemit. I was about to quit steemit. But then, I read Sir Terry's messages again. It is heart-melting.

I understand.
you are no loser. you need to leave the box.
it is about you not only your content
people need to know you...
Visit @steemitsecrets, digest all the posts.
I will inspire you as much as possible.
It has never been about impressing or gain the approval of others
it has been about gaining your own approval.

Days passed, I told myself I will never visit my steemit profile again but every day, I find myself doing the opposite. Like it was part of my system or my daily routine. I always find myself typing steemit.com in the URL box. I also can't stop myself from checking @ginabot's dm on discord. I have seen @steemitsecrets before, but honestly, I just scanned it. But since sir Terry suggested not just to read it but also digest it, so I did. To my surprise, the posts seem like it was for me. It moved me. I hit me like bull's eye!

I realized I was wrong.

"We will celebrate each minnow as whales and whales as whales, for "you are whale to me!" @sunnylife on Steemitsecrets#1

I am wrong when I think that others are much bigger than me because this statement for me means, we are all congruent. I should've not strived to be the very best among the rest, for each every human is at its best in their own different ways. I should've not competed with others, or compare my works to others. I should compete with my own doubts and win by my creating something that I never think I am capable of doing.

"Sometimes you win, sometimes you lose learn" - John C. Maxwell
"Learning is the ultimate earning..." @enjieneer on Steemitsecrets#3

Therefore, there's no such thing as losers right? Sir surpassinggoogle is right. Win or lose, you'll get something. And sometimes, you earn much more in losing than in winning because we learn from our mistakes, we became stronger whenever we stand up from failing.

"true influence" can be attained by virtue of "YOU". - @itsjessamae on steemitsecrets#6
"To Attain "Greatness" And Draw People In Using Just Your Post, You Will Need To Work At Impressing Yourself First." - @sissyjill on Steemitsecrets#11
"It has never been about impressing or gain the approval of others, it has been about gaining your own approval." - @Surpassinggoogle

I realized, why am I struggling to get noticed? while all I have to do is to impress myself. And from that, others will follow. If the way I look at my work is a trash, then how could others appreciate it?

you will need to "stubbornly" be "the awesomest version of YOU" and the "awesomest version of YOU" is "a gift to humanity"; Thus, on the path to beginning to "impress yourself", you will have to be "too lazy to quit". - @sissyjill on Steemitsecrets#11

How can I do that if I'm going to quit now?

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"Your fruitfulness is the result of your personal growth" - Sir @joeysison

Plants need to grow in order to have fruits, I should too. How can I get a fruitful result if I will stop here and remain the same? I should continue to improve myself.

"it is about YOU not only your content" - @surpassinggoogle

My posts' upvotes don't define me. It is all about me.

"You can be the ripest, juiciest peach in the world, and there's still going to be somebody who hates peaches." - Dita Von Teese

Pixabay

Just bring out the best in you. It doesn't matter if there are some people who won't like you for being you. You can't please everybody and you were not born to do so. Just let them go.

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As a newbie, what I just did here is to create a post, promote them, ask for upvotes, upvote other's post hoping they will do the same then wait and watch how many upvotes I could get...and then felt dissatisfied, discouraged from getting few upvotes. I realized this isn't how steemit was supposed to be.

"In steemit, engagement is important." - Sir @wagun001
"I want you to go to other posts, from any nation, read and interact" - @surpassinggoogle

Steemit is a social media platform. So, we should socialize, communicate with others, get involved, interact, make friends and have fun.

"People need to know you..." - sir @surpassinggoogle

We need to get to know each other. I should've not just waited for others to upvote my post. I should read other's post too. Make a comment to their post and get to know them. There are many people on steemit. I should not just limit myself to my friends' posts.

"Go out of the box" - @surpassinggoogle

Steemit is a huge community. I thought I have explored everything about it but I just found myself exploring only a corner of it. And I just limit myself in that corner. Sir Terry always reminds us to go out of the box. To go out of our comfort zones, don't just stay where we used to be, to explore and not be shy.

I learned that, the proper way to "steem it" is; read interesting posts from different nations, put a valuable comment on each of them, resteem and upvote the most interesting ones. Follow them and build friendships. Create a post by bringing out the awesomest version of me, impress myself and love what I'm doing.

"You just have to write from your heart," - @mermaidvampire

I was wrong when I count how much time I have spent on creating a post. I should've not taken steemit as a job. I should make steemit as a hobby.

What's your favorite hobby? Me, my favorite one is playing with my kids. I didn't earn anything for the time I spent, but still, I love playing with them and I never consider my time was wasted. I don't count the hours I spent with them, I just let the time passed by enjoying myself and never regret what I've done.

That's how steemit should be. Love what you're doing, not expecting to earn anything, just have fun and you will not notice that time passed by. Share things, knowledge, wisdom, stories... write from your heart. And then the rewards will become just a bonus.

Yes, I'm giving up...!
... I'm giving up all my negativities in life... I'm giving up all my worries and fears. I will be the awesomest version of me as a gift to humanity.

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I want to thank sir @surpassinggoogle for always being there with a helping hand. He is indeed an amazing man. God bless this person and every other helpful whales and steemians, helping each other to bring steemit to the moon.

I want to encourage my fellow red fishes or minnows to not just read @steemitsecrets but also digest it, it is a good motivation for us to understand steemit and how to be a part of it.

Please also support @surpassinggoogle as a witness by voting him at https://steemit.com/~witnesses and type in "steemgigs" at the first search box.

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Special thanks for all the motivational quotes from my friends and fellow steemians mentioned above with their usernames.