Fifty-Word Fiction Frenzy: A Community Collaboration - Round Two
Write the next paragraph in this story to receive all liquid payout from the post.
If you would like to get involved with this community project, please visit this page for information on how to proceed.
Thank you to everyone that participated in the first round. @meesterboom, @fisteganos, @spark, @aunt-deb, @cobceo, @riskdebonair, @catulhu, @richq11, @ericvancewalton, @ezzy, @marifa and @scaredycatguide. I didn't expect to see so many submissions in the first round, but I am inspired by the community input so far.
The community voted that @meesterboom's short paragraph be selected for the next part in our story. Our character now has as a name also.
His name was Arty, he had slid into the train seat beside me, smiling, gold tooth glinting. 'Hey Danny, you wanna get rich?'.
What the hell? How'd this guy know my name? I froze as Arty's smile turned into a cold leer. Something metallic shoved into my side. 'Because you see Danny... I aint askin.'
Congratulations to you, @meesterboom. Your words will now be featured in Steemit's first community-written short story. Unfortunately, due to the lack of visibility in the first round, the liquid payout amounted to less than 2 STEEM. However, I have sent you 25 STEEM for your participation. Thanks.
Round Two
Who would have thought that earning three million dollars could cost me so much. I had gone from rags to riches in scarcely a year, but I'd have given it all back in a heartbeat if it meant regaining all I had lost. Let me tell you how it began.
His name was Arty, he had slid into the train seat beside me, smiling, gold tooth glinting. "Hey, Danny. You wanna get rich?."
What the hell? How'd this guy know my name? I froze as Arty's smile turned into a cold leer. Something metallic shoved into my side. "Because you see Danny... I ain't askin'."
.... [SUBMIT YOUR ENTRIES FOR THIS PARAGRAPH IN THE COMMENTS]
Whilst I had initially intended to write the next paragraph after every round, I realised that I would have then wrote half of the story without the community's approval. I have decided that instead, I will, just like everyone else, make up to three submissions in the comments and let the community decide on the next part.
If my paragraph is selected, I WILL NOT claim the liquid rewards for the post. They will be reserved and added onto the next winner's bounty.
The comments section got a little messy during the last round. For organisational purposes, I ask that if you are submitting an entry, reply to the comment which says, "SUBMIT YOUR ENTRIES HERE." This will make it easier for viewers to find and read all of the entries and vote on their favourite(s).
Finally, please be sure to resteem this post to ensure that enough of the community get the opportunity to vote for their favourites. I had to get rather proactive in the first round as there were very few votes on the submissions due to low visibility, Thank you, and good luck!
PLEASE RESPOND TO THIS COMMENT WITH YOUR ENTRIES.
We are aiming for 50-100 words but, if you are slightly over or under, the community will decide whether or not to upvote your submission based on the quality of the content. GOOD LUCK!
"Who are you? I watched enough movies to know that there is no good in playing games with the Devil," I said in a shaking voice, expecting not to feel that knife cutting through my skin.
"Then you know that everyone always plays that game, Danny. Will you move your arse already? It is ours stop," Arty said with a cheeky grin on his face. We stood up.
Entry One:
He was a mid-level member of the Tech-Niners— the hacker-turned-hoodlums that appeared on the streets after the dollar went digital. I should really have been afraid, as I knew of the bodies that had been mounting up thanks to these guys. For some reason though, it wasn't fear that afflicted me in that moment. All I felt was an overwhelming curiosity.
Looking back now, there are so many other choices I could have made. But terror paralyzed me for crucial moments of time. It seems ironic that it was the inaction of a coward that put me on this path, when so many things that came after took absolute fearlessness to pull off.
I was thrown into a dingy room. A blow to the head slammed me to the floor before I was pulled to my knees, Arty loomed over me, gun in hand as I cowered in abject terror. 'You see Danny, to get rich, you're gonna have to die first.' He smirked and pulled the trigger...
you put them on a train and immediately to a dinghy room??? lolsss
It's a journey!! Lol :0)
where's the train going to?? edinburgh??
this is hilarious!!
Glasgow is much nicer!
That's what they say. Didnt have time to go around when I passed-by from Eire to Edinburgh.
'Hey buddy,' I said, scanning the carriage as quick as a finger snap and forcing a smile back onto my face, 'if you know my name you know all about me. And you know I never travel without protection. My guys have you covered.'
It was a bad bluff in a bad situation but it looked like I was playing for keeps with a bum hand.
The truth is, he wasn't that much of a big deal. No bald head, or muscles looking thicker than my 7-foot bed. He looked like a normal guy and on a different day I would have made a move to save myself but not that day. Was it the question he asked? Was it the way he asked it? I couldn't figure out. One thing I could clearly figure out though were the pictures he placed on the table. Sara? Mom? "Oh no please don't hurt them" I whispered. then it all went dark.
Second Entry:
“Whoa! Cool down, Danny boy.” Arty muttered. “I have two grand for you, my friend,” he said, smiling as if he was talking about two million. “From Bombay, it’s a peace offering for taking your girl.”
“What about the piece in my ribs?” I grunted.
Arty cocked his head, “Hey! You’re the one who said you’d kill any of Bombay’s boys if they come looking for you.” He shrugged, “Look, he’s apol-o-gizing. And he insists on a face-to-face with you. Something big is about to go down, and I’m talking big money. Bombay wants you back on the team, OK? He needs your…..skills.”
Ain't asking...? I mused.
I glanced out the window towards the people on the platform, taking a deep breath to calm myself.
Ain't asking...?
I felt strangely calm, maybe I was in shock, but all I could think about was how none of us had asked to be here at this station. Life just threw us here. I could think of a million other ways to be spending my day.
The cold metallic object withdrew from my side.
"Open it" Arty said with a chuckle as he threw a package onto my lap.
Ain't asking?
I had no choice.
Entry Two:
"But.. How?" I asked, though my voice was so broken from the fear I hadn't expected him to understand me.
"You'll find out soon enough, Danny," he replied, with a devilish smile covering his face from ear to ear. "Get your arse up, boy. This is our stop."
That was the last I could remember for what seemed like forever. From the train heading to Sheffield to some massive looking, fit-for-a-king type of room in the middle of nowhere, it was clear destiny had presented me with a birthday gift way ahead of schedule. And it indeed was a gift. It was just there wrapped in shinning paper with bright colors sitting in front of me and whispering "...open up". I could not resist. I tried to but I couldn't.
“Fuck!” I twitched and almost went for the black market sonic stunner under my coat. The hopelessness I had fallen in to today was shattered by bloody frustration. My glam-girl had run off with a cyber-freak; I'd lost the shit job at Zeroscape Teleportal because I couldn't keep my rage-mouth shut; and I owed two months of credits to that cake-faced bastard landlord. And still, exactly 7 days later, if I could have gone back in time to three minutes before this leering leprechaun showed up, I would have!
Wayhay!! Thank you! I am looking forward to seeing how this evolves. I will sit out this one as I think it would be good not to drive the story in the freak chance event of a double win? Maybe that could be a rule?
I really like your organisational changes. Will resteem, get some more visibility if possible!!
No. I encourage you to enter again. Remember that it is the community that is voting in the next piece, so the person that wrote it is irrelevant. It only matters that it is the best entry and the one that Steemit wanted.
Thanks for sharing. We need this right now while the project is gaining traction.
Well I am easily convinced! I will!
Great. I have submitted two myself, but I will leave it at that until next time. I look forward to reading your entry or entries.
Will get my thinking cap on!
I didn't see your entry until after I'd written mine...ha, exact opposite takes, this is interesting. And awesome, love passing the stick around the campfire! @fisteganos approached me about his project with the same idea, I'm guessing he got it from you? It appears we will be writing paragraphs for that as well :)
Well as I understand it, it is going to complete chapters for that project. A much more difficult task. That's why I started this so that anyone can participate with only a minute of two's thought.
And yes, there is such diversity with everyone's paragraphs. It's an amazing demonstration of creativity and individuality.
BTW, you responded to my entry rather than to the comment where you should have. It might be worth copying the text, deleting the comment, and then pasting it into a new reply to the correct thread. If others come and start doing the same thing it may end up very messy again. We don't want to discourage potential voters from reading through each entry.
Okay, done. Sorry, not enough sleep. Chapters? I better take a look at that chat.
Lol.
A little more than paragraphs but not whole chapters. A more coherent explanation (I believe) is available as a pinned message in the chat channel. You should check it out.
There's also a similar project by @riskdebonair
My project is on ice for now. I'll try to ressurect it in a months time, but so far not much interest.
It was gold! And my real name isn't "Danny". Only my granny call's me "Danny". I had held this metal. He was leaving it; for me to hold on to! He had left the train. He left me with gold; the name "Arty" and rigmarolling thoughts of how anyone other than Granny knew my nickname "Danny". Gosh, he knows me! He will definitely be back!
Hurry, you replied the wrong thread. There's a specific one where all entries should be. Check the instructions
@meesterboom, @fisteganos, @spark, @aunt-deb, @cobceo, @riskdebonair, @catulhu, @richq11, @ericvancewalton, @ezzy, @marifa, @dreemit, @nikflossus, @writingamigo, @smalltalk and @scaredycatguide. Thank you to all of you for your participation.
Could you also spare a moment to vote for your favourite submission(s) to ensure that we have clear winner, and that the best possible paragraph is added to the story. Thanks--
Yo! Just a suggestion, but to make voting more equitable, and to attract more people to vote. Break this up into two different posts. One for submissions, then after the 24 hours have elasped on that, put up the next post for people to vote for the submissions for the 24 hours period, this would allow everyone to be on equal footing as everything would be up at once. Also two posts, one for submissions, one for voting would increase STEEM generated, as well as easy compartmentalising, so those who just want to vote can see the vote post.
This would slow the creative process down though, taking 48 hours for every new part instead of 24.
I'm sorry, I didn't see this, I really wish putting our names in threads would alert us. I will definitely cast my vote on the next one.
It does alert us now! There is desktop notifications, though they only work on firefox and chrome at the moment.
I like @riskdebenair's idea; but I think it would also work on one post, with a 12 hour window to write, and a 12 hour window to vote. People would start remembering when to vote. And if you wanted to nudge them into returning and voting, you could comment on their thread to that effect. You could also have a rule that to win the submission you have to vote for at least one submission that is not yours (you can also vote on more, and on yours in addition).