Hello Layla
First of all I would to let you know : I can't even imagine what you have been through. I don't even imagine how could I react in the same situation. It's hard, it's really hard being a woman today.
We all are under scrutiny for every single decision that we make, even for things that are out of our control. When we speak for injustice done to us, they blame us. When we don't speak, they STILL blame us. I am really sorry about your struggles. Know one thing: you are stronger and smarter and I admire you about speakings so openly for such a sensitive topic.
I agree with your approach to abortion. It is a very personal decision and nobody has to push to do otherwise. They should not even have audicaty to judge you or your actions. It's your life and you live it. And whatever emotional reaction you have, it's yours. As they say: Clean your hand first before you point a finger to someone else.