RE: Body Language and more.. RE: Akiroq
I can relate to this so much.
I realized soon after beginning to work professionally with kids "on the spectrum" (in quotes because aren't we all on a spectrum?) that I related to them and understood them better than I do to "neurotypical" people. Only a few years earlier, in high school, I carried a keychain that read, "Normal people worry me."
The reason is this inauthenticity.
it's difficult to measure the genuineness of the person you are dealing with.
You can't. And I am unwilling to try. If the person I am dealing with wants to mask their true feelings and expects me to guess what they really mean from subtle cues too bad, I won't. That person wastes a perfectly good opportunity to just say plainly what they mean. Why communicate anything else?
A person is either genuine, or they aren't. Truth isn't a spectrum.
Inauthenticity isn't the same as being aware of my internal state and how I'm engaging with others. If I'm stressed and it's nothing to do with you, I don't have to show it to you. I might take a deep breath and try to let it go. If I can't, I might confess to you that I'm stressed right now, and either ask for some time to process or do my best to shift gears. If I'm worried, I can be honest about it without hyperventilating and getting you nervous too. That's self-mastery, not inauthenticity.
Obviously people who practice inauthenticity are a pet peeve of mine. At best, they're playing some weird status game that I want no part of. At worst, they're liars. No thank you. Not interested in pleasing those people.
Gonna have to hop over to @akiroq's blog now for a read!
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Hi @wholeself-in,
It's nice to see you :)
You raise a great point here that I didn't consider while writing this. I guess it flew over my head a bit, but it's very obvious to me that when you say:
This is completely logical and rational. It would be irrational to think someone could be, say 75% genuine.. Either you are truthful or you aren't. A half truth is still a WHOLE lie right?
I can identify plenty of times in my life where taking a "breather" so-to-speak, would have yielded better/more efficient results in the end. I've become better at taking a step back for processing time, but it's continual work of course. If you can do this easily, then that is definitely you, being a mature master of your emotions!
I like to believe the truth always comes forth in one form or fashion eventually, and these deceptive inauthentic types live a sad existence in general. I too want no part of interacting with them, but it's also unrealistic to think that I won't be faced with them over and over again. Sad truth to that, but I also like to believe I'm good at spotting them. It's tougher online, but people tend to air their dirty laundry without even realizing it sometimes.
Thanks for stopping by and providing your insight @wholeself-in :)