Lesson 3 from Doesn’t Hurt to Ask by Trey Gowdy

If you are losing your argument, try to divert, deconstruct, double-down, or play the victim in response.

The author knows that even masters of persuasion can’t always nail an argument. Sometimes the best thing to do is walk away. But he does have a few last-second strategies to mitigate the damage from a failed argument.

The first thing the author says you can do is to try to make a diversion. People dislike being interrupted, but if you can interrupt them with questions, you may be able to hinder their momentum and turn the conversation in another direction, all while staying focused on them.

Next, you can try to deconstruct. When your opponent is nailing their argument, you can challenge even the smallest of their assumptions to slow them down. Ask things like, “How can you know that?” or “How can you really be sure that’s true?”

The third strategy is doubling down. If one part of your argument is working particularly well, double down on that point until you can find a way to get out of the argument.

If all of this fails, your last strategy to save yourself is to play the victim card. Sure, this doesn’t seem very dignified. But it works for a simple reason— people are naturally more empathetic to victims.

For example, when former House Speaker Paul Ryan was attacked during a debate over the Affordable Care Act, Obama claimed Ryan didn’t care about children. Ryan capitalized on this by playing the victim and highlighting the unfairness of Obama’s attack.