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Dear Centrelink,

I write to you as a job seeker who is currently working 37.75 hours full time per week as an employee of a publicly listed company. In a bid for profits, and increased share holder returns, my job has been made redundant, and I have been trapped in limbo, enraptured by anti-competitive agreements and the increasingly irrelevant desire to perform my nominal role due to my impending reliance upon your services.

As a middle class, struggling young man, I have not been able to seek any new employment due to the fact that the bus was late again, and the prohibitive cost of shaving paraphernalia precludes me of the 'well presented' moniker most job descriptions desire.

Instead, I have begged for job and for the mercy of passers by on South Australian street corners, cloaked in shadow due to the lack of any sufficient electricity being delivered to the residents of the state.

I implore you, that even though I have applied for no new roles this fortnight, I require my payments in order to ensure that the Commodore sitting in the driveway doesn't go back to cashies.

Love,

holoz0r.