Making Your Own Decisions: Your Life, Your Way
I remember that time I made a big decision in my life to quit my job to travel. I just knew back then where to go first, but after that, I didn't know what else to do. That was actually the point of my journey, to find out what I really wanted to do for the rest of my life that has nothing to do with settling down or having a family yet. It was nice to have some support or to listen to advice when you are about to make a life-changing decision, especially if those will come from people who are close to you, like your friends and family. But what if sometimes, their criticism influence your decisions greatly that you fail to live your life your own way? While they don't mean to do so, sometimes you become handicapped by their own judgments, and unknowingly grew up influenced by their opinions through ridicule or humor.
I grew up in an environment where people don't really travel, it is more of a privilege. At first, choosing this new lifestyle faced great criticism and objection from friends and relatives who never even traveled. I heard all this, I will never do something like that, you are crazy, it is dangerous, you should worry about savings when you get old, and you are too old to travel, you should have a family. And when I started sharing my travel pictures and writing my stories, surprisingly, everyone had become supportive. I appreciate their concern and advice but if I let my travel be based on the opinion of others, then I would probably never have traveled. I totally understand their own choices in life and definition of happiness, but my only mistake was expecting to be understood in return.
I was also single that time, so I didn't have to worry about ending a relationship, breaking up or bringing someone in my trip. It was nice to be totally in control of your own decisions, that finally, you are taking the courage to think for yourself. It is not something everyone can do, because that freedom to think for yourself can be too much of a burden. It turned out, everyone needs some kind of approval and that opinions can be the cheapest things in the world. Everyone has their own and it can be good to listen and apply whatever works for you, as you need some guiding light sometimes. However, you just have to watch out for those negative signs that will limit you from achieving your goals and desires. Because you might never know the real thoughts of those people around you, are they really happy for your decision and your success or do they want to just influence you in staying or becoming just like one of them? It does not even have to be about travel, it could be a new career or a business idea. Opinions should not require you to destroy your personal ambitions. You have the right to live your own life in your own way.
Fear of Criticism
Most of the time, your self-esteem is based on what other people think of you. If they approve your decisions, you feel great, but when they disapprove of you, you feel like crap. A lot of people stay in a life situation because they fear criticism, like what would other people think? You fail to set higher goals in life because of this fear that your friends and relatives will think you are crazy or too ambitious. It turned out, they have a lot of excuses for you. You should not live up to anyone's expectations nor they should live up to yours.
People will always have something to say anyway, so just do whatever you think is best for you. They sometimes just don't have any idea what it took you to get there. They act or talk like it was unearned, effortless or just pure dumb luck.
You will always have these negative suggestions and discouraging influences around you, and your desire for success should be stronger than your fear of criticism. You have a mind of your own, use it to reach your own decisions. It is your life to live.
What about you?
Mine was to take an early retirement from the post office. Scariest decision of my life at the time losing half my income but it turned out to be the best thing in my life. If you stay positive life has a way of giving you everything you need and more. It's been 4 years now and I've never regretted it for a second.
Thanks for sharing, quitting our jobs is a difficult decision. It has been 4 years for me too, no regrets!
My big decision was, for health reasons, leave my job for life and my daughter in England and head for the sunshine. Total leap of faith with plenty resistance, but it's worked for me, phew!
Thanks for sharing. Good luck in your future endeavors.
Thank you, same!
big decision I ever took was to breakup with that nagging partner.. ahh I feel so free now..
btw it's such a beautiful beach
Break up is a difficult decision. Thanks!
Spot on. Eventually, you start to listen and respect your inner voice. Sometimes your own ego is the largest voice. I've made several big decisions. One from a while ago was selling my home. I thought I was a home owner but the house owned me.
Wow, selling your home was indeed a big decision. Things sometimes end up owning us.
Thanks for sharing!
It always makes me smile, seeing the poeple pay homage to their cars, as lovingly caress thier bodies covering them in suds, and gently washing away the stress and dust of the week.
They must love them immensely.
" Oh I cant make then, at that time, I have to wash the car...."
Such devotion...
My biggest decision was leaving a great job to pursue a life of travel. Very mixed support from the people around me. Many were concerned about our children, 1, 5 and 8. I have not regretted it for a second and similar to your experience there was more support once we started to share stories and pictures from our travels.
Thanks for sharing. Leaving our jobs is one of the hardest decisions in life.
Yeah, I guess to see is to believe for some people.
When I decided to use my layoff as an opportunity to sell everything and travel, I received nothing but support - it turned out many of my managers and coworkers had done the same thing before or wished they could. It made it seem like a totally normal (almost boring and expected) thing to do.
Now that I'm coming up on a year away, however, my dad is getting verrrrry antsy for me to get another corporate job, buy a house, and have kids, and well-meaning people keep recommending me to open positions. I know that I could still be happy doing all that, but not yet!
That was good when you received nothing but support, I guess the decision was not that special to them anymore.
Parents can be like that. We know what can make us happy!
I agree with your opinion. Others always find something to hack on you.
I haven't made yet any life-changing situation like you.
Someday you will!
Lovely Post....
Nice post !
If you want to enjoy the life then it is necessary that your health is best for this purpose my Decisions is that first care your health.