Thoughts on Returning Home, After 4 Years Away.
Well, it's actually over 7 years that I've been living here in Japan, but
the last time I was back for a visit was four years ago. As such, I'm pretty excited to be heading back this time. It'll almost be like going as a Japanese tourist who, upon reentering the continent of North America, remembers he was born there, and grew up there.
Some time with my family is long overdue, and I'm excited for my son to see a new country and culture (he was only 9 months old last time we visited.) I think it's gonna blow his mind that everyone around him will be speaking English, and that not everybody has black hair. He's gonna meet his cousins, kids of all types, excited, rambunctious friends, and hopefully realize that there is a world out there that's not so beholden to a "don't rock the boat" social norm/culture.
Things I plan on doing.
- Chilling. Chilling. Chilling. With fam. And close friends.
- Eating Mexican food a whole bunch.
- Drinking some potent-ass, hoppy beer.
- Running with new scenery (could be subzero conditions and snow drifts, but..hey. What are you gonna do?)
- Visiting the city (Chicago) for some entertainment and/or Chicago-style pizza.
Why haven't I been back more often?
Well, money is one thing (airfare ain't cheap, man), but that aside, to be honest, I just haven't been ready. Personal development, it seems to me, often has to take place far-removed from the dynamics and social structures one has been born and raised into. This might just involve meditation for some people. For me it involved moving 8,000 miles away.
It was here in Japan that I left religion, became an anarchist full-on, and left a lot of the guilt and self-doubt I had internally accrued in my "home" environment behind. In most ways, Japan is my home now. That said, I have this beautiful, warm feeling now about returning to "my roots" for a second, and just soaking it all in. There are people that live in my head every day. Old friends. Important people. And I need to see them. My son needs to see his grandma and grandad. My wife needs to get out. I need some pizza.
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Who knows, everything may have changed.
I haven't exactly been nurturing many of the relationships I left behind, but in a way, that's alright with me. The folks that are lifelong (and maybe longer) golden friends and muses understand. We stay connected as we can, and allow each other to change. I know I have many expectations, and this is probably not good. Conversations may fall flat in five minutes. The beer may not taste as good as it used to, and unhealthy family dynamics might pop up. But you know what? I've decided I'm not going to fulfill a fantasy, but to share love, have a good laugh if possible, and reconnect with some people and places that have shaped me into who I am today. And, to express and give some of what I have learned, as the new me, and to receive the same from everyone there. I can’t wait to share all this with my wife and son!
Many photo updates to come from the land of...pizza cones(?) in December! Stay tuned!
~KafkA
Graham Smith is a Voluntaryist activist, creator, and peaceful parent residing in Niigata City, Japan. Graham runs the "Voluntary Japan" online initiative with a presence here on Steem, as well as Facebook and Twitter. (Hit me up so I can stop talking about myself in the third person!)
Coming back to the U.S from Japan should give you plenty of culture shock. A lot of things change in 7 years, and some things just stat the same. ;-)
NW Indiana? You've got to be kidding!
Apparently there's something in the water there because there's more than a few anarchist coming from there. I was born in Gary and grew up in Chesterton and Valpo.
Looks like we got three “region rats” on this thread. Hahaha. Kick ass. I’m from Valpo/Wheatfield/Demotte.
My father lives in Wheatfield! Wow! That's crazy! It's 4! https://steemit.com/@kieranpearson was born in Gary.
Have a good trip! Enjoy!
Hahaha, no way! Small world man. Region Rats Unite!
"Personal development, it seems to me, often has to take place far-removed from the dynamics and social structures one has been born and raised into. This might just involve meditation for some people. For me it involved moving 8,000 miles away"
I feel you. That healthy distance is important
Furthermore, what is a healthy distance for one person is not the same for another. I personally have started feeling a lot less guilt complex now that people are 800 miles away. You put it well too, sure there will be some good nostalgic moments but it's good to try to have healthy (to no) expectations. As you said, some conversation might fall flat in 5 minutes. This has proven all too true for me. Turns out, I am a much different person in my values, way of life, and general world view than what i "left behind. " Some people will live in your head everyday, whether for the good or bad. Hopefully the good but we all know that's a bit of a pipe dream. Letting going of the constructs those people value and the control they want to exert over our lives is key. Furthermore, you can be on anther continent and still be being controlled by the past. But certainly being on anther continent helps. Ah I have rambled a lot in this response. Your post def resonates. Hope it goes well for you and your family.
Thanks, Chelsea. That means a lot.
This is so true, and one of the reasons I haven’t been back. And the truly hard part is often that the people themselves don’t even see and are not aware that they are doing this...
That said. Fuck the constructs. I’m gonna have myself a time. ;)
Thanks always for your thoughtful commentary. Always makes me feel a little more sane.
No problem. =)
True oftentimes "they" Don't know they are doing what they're doing
That's so awesome. I hope you and your family have a great time in Japan. A new location but still moving forward. Onto bigger and better things.
Cheers man. Just a two week visit, but appreciate it all the same.
Home will certainly look strange at first and everything including the air is welcoming. Good to be back
If you expect to be in Spokane Int'l Airport with a significant layover in your flight schedule, give me a holler on steemit.chat!
Wish I could! Going Japan > Korea > Chi-town though. Same goes for you if ever in Japan!
There is nothing like coming home after a long trip :) Can only imagine after 4 years. I'll be heading home after 1.5 years away so I am already writing a list of things I want to do, enjoy!
You have a good trip! Thanks!
Seriously? Is that photo accurate? You're a hoosier? What is up with that... it seems like a larger number of gaijin I meet are hoosiers. I am also a hoosier who has been living in Japan about 15 years now, and will probably be here another 15.
Anyway, hope you have a good time back Stateside. Just a visit or a longer stay?
I am. Maybe I’ve asked before, but where in Indiana are you from?
Just going for a visit.
If you asked before, I must have overlooked it. I'm from Muncie. I try to visit once a year or so. Trying to make that long long flight with two young kids is always fun ;) What city are you from?
From Valparaiso/Wheatfield.
Ah Valpo. No wonder you mention Chicago in your post. Well, enjoy your trip. Hopefully they don't get much snow while you're there.
Enjoy your visit back home. You will wonder how time passed so quickly but "going home" is important to our being even as we deal with the many mixed emotions.
Thanks, @team101. I agree. It is important.