谈John Clare的诗
深夜无眠，脑子里却一遍遍回响着两首同名诗：I am。均出自英国诗人John Clare之手。
事实上，N年前，我就读过其中一首，抖音里至今还保留着“抖森读I am诗”的经典朗诵视频。但那时，我只能说自己似懂非懂，如今再次阅读，却是另一番感受。心中不由慨叹，是怎样巨大的痛楚，让作者写出如此超越世俗的诗句？
话说明朝徐渭徐文长数次自杀未遂，后又癫狂杀妻入狱，却在狱中首创大泼墨写意诗画；John Clare在疯人院写下两首经典的“I am”十四行诗/Sonnet，无意间开创了“存在主义”文学的先河。嗨，都是些命运多舛的可怜人啊！
在风雨如磐的时代大环境中，在最高权力的无情碾压下，个体的力量是如此渺小。然而，即使被落魄贫穷失意折磨摧残到疯癫的地步，诗人的写作才华依然保留着，他在笔尖向世人毫无保留地倾泄着他的痛和孤独与破碎感...
关于徐渭徐文长的故事，抖音里很容易就能搜索的到。他的发疯与胡宗宪被嘉靖皇帝处死有关，而胡宗宪临终前那句著名的“宝剑埋冤狱，忠魂绕白云”，分明让人看到了一个错综复杂的明朝社会。
而关于John Clare的故事呢？也是一言难尽。但同样，暴露了他所处时期英国社会的矛盾---著名的“圈地运动”，农民被迫离开自己的家园，失去了赖以生存的土地。可农民出身的John Clare热爱乡村田园，一草一木在他的笔下都如诗如画。第一次接触到John Clare的乡村自然诗歌，就被他描绘的乡村风貌所深深吸引，因为那些场景，于我，再熟悉不过了。我惊讶于自己仿佛在遥远的异国他乡，遇到了一个亲切的老朋友。
只是，我在想，年青的时候，我是绝对不会对类似“I am"之类的诗感兴趣的，我甚至可能会“嫌弃鄙夷”那些疯人院里诞生的作品吧，如同我从前不懂徐渭疯癫后创作的大泼墨写意画。(From Helpston in rural Northamptonshire, John Clare was born in 1793. He is now regarded as the most important poet of the natural world from Britain. He wrote many poems, prose and letters about love, sex, corruption and politics, environmental and social change, poverty and folk life. Even in his 'madness', his talents were not diminished. Ronald Blythe, past President of the Clare Society, saw Clare as "... England's most articulate village voice". )
可是，经历了世事沧桑乃至心脉受损魂飞魄散命悬一线的生死痛后，我对这两首"I am"诗作均产生了强烈的共鸣，我甚至觉得它们就是为我而写的。
I am (1)
I feel I am — I only know I am,
And plod upon the earth, as dull and void:
Earth’s prison chilled my body with its dram
Of dullness, and my soaring thoughts destroyed,
I fled to solitudes from passions dream,
But strife pursued — I only know, I am.
I was a being created in the race
Of men disdaining bounds of place and time:
A spirit that could travel o’er the space
Of earth and heaven — like a thought sublime,
Tracing creation, like my maker, free —
A soul unshackled — like eternity,
Spurning earth’s vain and soul debasing thrall
But now I only know I am — that’s all.
I AM (2)
I am – yet what I am, none cares or knows;
My friends forsake me like a memory lost:
I am the self-consumer of my woes –
They rise and vanish in oblivion’s host
Like shadows in love-frenzied stifled throes
And yet I am, and live – like vapours tost
Into the nothingness of scorn and noise,
Into the living sea of waking dreams,
Where there is neither sense of life or joys,
But the vast shipwreck of my life’s esteems;
Even the dearest that I love the best
Are strange – nay, rather, stranger than the rest.
I long for scenes where man hath never trod
A place where woman never smiled or wept
There to abide with my Creator, God,
And sleep as I in childhood sweetly slept,
Untroubling and untroubled where I lie
The grass below – above, the vaulted sky.
source
该怎么翻译成中文呢？当然，感谢我们的人工智能AI时代。以下是AI(Artificial Intelligence)的中文版本：
第一首：I am/我存在
我自知存在——我只知晓我存在，
在沉闷空茫的大地上艰难徘徊：
尘世的牢狱以沉闷的醉意冻僵我的躯体，
将我凌云的思绪尽数摧毁。
我逃离激情迷梦，躲进荒僻孤寂，
纷争仍紧追不舍——我只知晓，我存在。
我曾是投身人群的生灵，
鄙夷时空设下的边界与藩篱：
我是能跨越天地疆域的灵魂，
如一抹崇高的思绪，自由游弋，
追随造物主的足迹，遍览造物奇迹——
灵魂挣脱枷锁，如永恒般不羁，
唾弃尘世间虚空、辱没灵魂的枷锁，
可如今我只知晓我存在——仅此而已。
第二首：I am/我存兮
（来一首AI推荐的文言版）
我存兮，谁知我为何状；
故旧捐我兮，若遗亡之旧想。
我自吞我忧兮，忧来去于茫荒；
如爱狂窒息之影兮，我仍存而犹养。
如轻飏之汽兮，投彼嘲噪之虚壤。
入醒梦之活海兮，无生趣之可尝；
惟我平生之身名兮，成巨海之覆航。
即吾钟之所爱兮，已隔愈于寻常。
我思得旷野兮，人迹所未往，
女子未尝笑哭兮，依造物之宇旷。
归童时之安寝兮，安我卧而无谤，
草为茵于下兮，穹苍为幕于上。
（N年前我读的正是这第2个版本的I am）
但是，诗人就是诗人。有几多孤寂落寞就有几多欢愉爱恋。品尝了“千山鸟飞绝，万径人踪灭，孤舟蓑笠翁，独钓寒江雪”的极致破碎后，我们再来欣赏一首John Clare年轻时写的一首诗：
A Spring Morning
（John Clare）
The Spring comes in with all her hues and smells,
In freshness breathing over hills and dells;
O’er woods where May her gorgeous drapery flings,
And meads washed fragrant by their laughing springs.
Fresh are new opened flowers, untouched and free
From the bold rifling of the amorous bee.
The happy time of singing birds is come,
And Love’s lone pilgrimage now finds a home;
Among the mossy oaks now coos the dove,
And the hoarse crow finds softer notes for love.
The foxes play around their dens, and bark
In joy’s excess, ’mid woodland shadows dark.
The flowers join lips below; the leaves above;
And every sound that meets the ear is Love.
同样，有请AI的中文翻译版本：
《春晓》
春携群芳色香至，清风吹遍谷与山。
五月林间披锦缎，芳草清溪染香岚。
初绽新花净无尘，贪香蜂蝶尚未侵。
鸣禽欢唱时节到，爱之孤旅今有居。
苍苔橡树上，斑鸠低声吟；
粗哑渡鸦也，为爱转清音。
狐绕穴嬉弄，喜极吠声轻，
藏身密林处，阴影正深深。
繁花拥吻于下，绿叶相覆于上；
入耳万般声响，尽是爱之乐章。
尤喜最后一句“入耳万般声响，尽是爱之乐章”！