Dear Diary: I Am So Afraid To Get Up From My Bed Because Of My Pains And A Heavy Body

It is getting somewhat different with regards to the condition of my body because of joints. Things combine to the detriment of my well-being as breathlessness had become a permanent problem that I am facing everyday and it affects the way I eat because eating just makes you gasp for air similar from the feeling of drowning.

The feeling of drowning means that I have an excess of water going to my lungs. Dialysis cannot take it all out as I drop my weight when at dialysis so it cannot be all taken out and I can feel it. I am sad about it because the cause might be the backbone squeezing my internal organs including my lungs and that is the main cause that I see.

The problem is that things progress slowly although right now I can close my mouth which I cannot a few weeks ago. I don't know if it was good or bad, at least I can drink coffee upright currently and I thank God for that too.

I remember sneezing a few day ago and it just gave a beating on y ribs. Now I am in pain on top of being breathless and a body and head very heavy to move around. I am just braving it all and my prayer is to have the ability to keep on with my life breathing without much difficulty and a little strength so that I can walk a little.

That is just what I want and I hope the God still gives me that privilege because living in this world is only a plus for me, it is a pleasure that at least I saw the world and the beautiful and interesting things that is in it.

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