Lost my brother today

Hey everyone, I'm 23 recently had knee surgery so I moved back in with my mother, I have been here for a few weeks searching the web not doing alot since I can't get up and move around, Everything was going great. I tend to search dating apps to occupy my loneliness, It has been hard for me to find anyone for me. I got a call later today that my Brother has passed, My cousin was telling me it was from an overdose, For the last few weeks he has been trying to get in contact with me and I feel terrible I did'nt pick up the phone and hear from him, I feel horrible knowing I am more lost and hurt than ever before. I really feel like complete shit. Sorry to rant I just feel hopless af. My brother was my idle growing up jamming out to Tool Smoking and drinking, hanging out. I really miss him and he will always be in my mind.