Voices in your head
The more I learn about life and business the more I see that the battle is against "the voices" and not any material obstacle.
It's not your skills, it's not your past, your location, the government, the news, age, tech skills, english, lack of time, stressful job, family, wife, internet connection, computer, friends, back pain, illness, voice, personality. It's not your anything...
It's so easy to blame somebody or something. The only problem is that the moment you choose to do that - you lose. Forever.
You have to realize that you are where you are in life right now because of nobody but you. You have to realize that the thing you're blaming isn't the thing at all - it's you.
The voices, the doubts and fears - they're all you.
It's been my observation that most peoples daily choice of actions don't align with their choice of possible future, they say: "Just this one time". "Just this one day".
The one time ends up being the entire day, the entire day ends up the entire week. The week becomes the month and the month becomes the year. Then one day the person wakes up one year later, upset that their present day isn't what they'd hoped for.
They say to themselves: "I knew I shouldn't have gotten my hopes up". "I knew I wasn't cut out for this" or worse yet "If only it wasn't for [Insert false excuse here]".
People don't get lucky, they get what they deserve.
How do I know this?
Because I've lived on both sides of the chasm.
For most of my life I played the victim and blamed everyone but myself. If something didn't go my way I'd blame my parents, teachers, friends, traffic, boss, slow internet connection. It didn't matter what happened, it wasn't my fault.
As you can probably imagine, this victim mentality got me nothing. I was broke, depressed, unhealthy and bitter. I had imprisoned myself in my own mind. My beliefs acted as armed guards surrounding the perimeter and the only way to escape was by taking responsibility which was the last thing I would ever do.
For 24 years a dark force plagued my existence.
I had hopes, dreams and desires to do something with my life but every time I entertained the thought or tried to take action the dark force would hold me back. One side of me wanted to improve but as soon as I tried acting on it I could feel a monster behind me breathing down my neck. It had me in its grips.
For years I wondered what this dark force was that was haunting my existence.
Only to find out that it was me.
I had met the enemy and the enemy was myself.
The voices, emotions and pain I would experience when I tried to take action on my dreams were all self-made. They were the stories I told myself throughout my life and they were all victim stories designed to escape responsibility and pain.
For 24 years I had wiped responsibility under the rug and avoided the pain. Now it had turned into a monster that held me back from the very thing I wanted to do.
I had to face the music.
I had to look the monster dead on in the eyes and face it once and for all.
Most people think pain is a bad thing and they try to avoid it and numb it any chance they get. I believe that pain is a teacher. If you stop dodging it and just sit with it, it will tell you exactly what you need to do.
My pain taught me everything... I started cleaning up my life and taking responsibility for things. I stopped lying to myself and I started to face the truth regardless of how painful it was. For the first time in my life I faced my dark side.
I decided to quit my job, drop out of college and start my own business. The challenge of entrepreneurship acted as a catalyst for self improvement. It forced me to face my dark side and grow into a better person.
I was able to move out of my parents garage in New Zealand to a penthouse in Manhattan. This year Forbes put me on their "30 Under 30" list with a net worth of $65,000,000 and last month I was able to retire my parents in the Caribbean as a way to thank them for supporting me through times when nobody else would.
I played the victim and it gave me nothing.
I faced my dark side and it gave me more than I could possibly imagine.
Now that you understand the lesson...
How can you apply this to your life right now?
How can you use this advice to make a positive change like I did?
Well... Here’s a list of six things to do starting now:
Face your dark side. Be brutally honest with yourself, go to the places in your mind that you've been too afraid to explore. Ask yourself if you're truly happy with your life and who you are and don't sugar-coat it. The rawer the truth the bigger the transformation.
Define what you want. Spend some time by yourself and figure out what you really want with your life. Dream big and make the picture as detailed as possible.
Suspend your disbelief. As soon as you dream big with your life the voices will creep in and give you 100 reasons why you cant do it. Ignore them, they're lies.
Start making a plan to achieve the things that you want in life. If you don't have a plan you will become a part of somebody else's plan.
Start taking action towards your goals. Pay special attention to the resistance, pain and voices that go through your head when you're faced with challenges. Don't hide from the pain, let it be your teacher.
Ask yourself this questions every day: Am I inventing things to do to avoid the important? Whatever your inner procrastinator is pulling you away from - flip the poles on it. Use it as a compass to guide you to the things you need to be doing.
I hope this helps you on your journey!
Did you find this post valuable?
If so, I have good news!
I put together a free training showing you exactly how I faced my dark side and made the the transformation from working a 9-5 job that I hated to starting my own business and growing it to over $20 million per year.
More importantly… I show you how you can do the same even faster than I did by applying methods I learned from my journey.
You can register here for free: https://www.consulting.com/free-training
Most people wouldn't click the link and register for the free training because their inner voices tell them they can't do it or it's too good to be true.
Your battle against the voices starts now.
Sam ovens