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RE: THE BREAK SYNDROME - My Entry to "Memories of my School Days Challenge"

in #weeklychallenge015 years ago

Dear Chriddi,
I spent years at the highly unprofitable exercise of literary analysis--my graduate school course of study was comparative literature. So, my mind is filled with obscure references--even though the mind may not be able to pull up those references nimbly anymore :))

A comparison to Twain came to me immediately. For example, check out this passage from his autobiography,:

There was a log church, with a puncheon floor and slab benches. A puncheon floor is made of logs whose upper surfaces have been chipped flat with the adz. The cracks between the logs were not filled; there was no carpet; consequently, if you dropped anything smaller than a peach, it was likely to go through. The church was perched upon short sections of logs, which elevated it two or three feet from the ground. Hogs slept under there, and whenever the dogs got after them during services, the minister had to wait till the disturbance was over. In winter there was always a refreshing breeze up through the puncheon floor; in summer there were fleas enough for all.

It's a delicate balance, seeing humor in the exaggerated truth without being cruel.

In your piece only one word struck me as less than ideal: 'sayings', in this line

cannot beat the ironic but very specific sayings of the respective teacher.

There might be an more apt word for that sentence...comments, suggestions, rebuke ...I don't know exactly how you would want to weight the word, to keep it humorous and accurate. 'Sayings' works find, but isn't perfect, I think (personal opinion).

I was delighted to do this exercise. Once there was a writing group at my local library where we used to offer critiques of each other's work. Unfortunately, our group leader passed away (he was 89!) and there was no good replacement.

Hope you don't mind the attention I paid this piece...it really was fun.

Be well, be happy and of course continue to be creative.

Very warm regards and happy Easter,
AG

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Oh, thank you for your continued efforts, dear AG.

Well, Twain, who was a brilliant writer, uses a more colorful language... ;-)

The biggest problem with my slumbering English skills is the frequent lack of vocabulary. And then again there are words that are difficult to translate. But this is another reason for the fascination of linguistics: Every language has words that are not directly translatable, that cannot convey the real intention. Sometimes these words do not even exist in the other language, they have to be paraphrased.

What I mean by using the word "sayings" are spontaneous "word paintings". In German we use the word "Spruch". None of your suggestions really expresses what I wanted to say. Wow, it's an intellectual challenge!
Especially in the field of satire it is quite difficult because you try to present reality in a humorous way without hurting anyone (sarcasm). In addition, not every reader understands the points, because the sense of irony is not very developed.

Dear AG, of course I don't mind, constructive criticism is always welcome!

I wish you a nice week,
stay blessed,

Chriddi