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I'm so sorry to hear that. It's never easy to loose someone close to you.
Just hold on to good memories and remember that they always stays in out hearts 😊

its very disturbing as this person kinda lost his life in front of my eyes. its been 5 years but i am not able to recover

I'm sorry.... that must have been horrible for you,no one should have to go through something like that.
I understand that is hard to get over but I hope you can find peace and know he is in a good place and even if his gone he's never forgotten 😊
Take care and bless!