The Retarded Woodpecker

The Retarded Woodpecker craved for a mug to play with. It was considered to be a surprising thought, to me and my children, but not to the Woodpecker, who expected that the idea was exciting. A mug being the item opted for.

The Retarded Woodpecker always kept a pint of cider that they would sometimes sleep with. This might appear to be a somewhat surprising proposal, to me and my parents, but not to the Woodpecker, who assumed that it was in fact, out of this world. A pint of cider was the thing that was chosen.

The Retarded Woodpecker craved for a stapler that they sometimes experiment on. It is considered to be a weird and wonderful thing to do, to some, but not to the Woodpecker, who felt it was wonderful. Who would have imagined, a stapler was the chosen item.

The Retarded Woodpecker desperately searched for a toilet brush that they would often hug. It might have been a weird and wonderful proposal, to me, but not to the Woodpecker, who had come to the conclusion it would be awesome. Strangely, a toilet brush would be the thing that was chosen.

The Retarded Woodpecker desperately craved for a condom that they would often eat. One might consider this to be a peculiar exercise, to me, my mum and my dad, but not to the Woodpecker, who thought that the idea was out of this world. Who would have imagined, a condom is the item to opt for.

The Retarded Woodpecker owned a cheese grater that they liked to smash. One might consider this to be a fairly new idea, to me and my parents, but not to the Woodpecker, who had come to the conclusion it would be fun. Strangely, a cheese grater would be the item that was chosen.