Trudging Through The Sludge

I made a pact to write a 1000 words a day for 30 days straight. I knew it was an ambitious goal. I felt up to it. I have always wanted to be a professional writer, perhaps even write a novel someday. On good days words flow freely onto the screen and topics come easily. I write with wit and flair. I have something to say. On bad days my brain is full of white noise. I try to summon the creative monster I even sometimes give it a glass of wine. The creative monster says, “Leave me alone, I’m taking a nap.” I tell the beast, "We have a pact. I told everyone. We were doing so well. It’s only day 4! People are counting on us. We made a promise, a commitment, we owe it to our three fans."

The beast says "Nope." So here I am just writing 1000 random words not to let you guys down. I’m apologizing in advance, as this is not going to be pretty. I woke up this morning quite enthused to get started. A rainy Sunday with no commitments. First thing I did this morning was get my dopamine fix by logging in and reading all my wonderful new comments. I was not sure yet what my topic would be. I had an idea to research a few suggestions for writing tools from my fans then write a post about how these tools make a writing career more productive.

I like to make analogies. One of my favourites is comparing writing to running. Putting on a pair of sneakers and running around the block is quite challenging to do if you have not done it for a while. It’s not that it is difficult physically, but psychologically. Getting out on that very first day is the hardest. Then after that, the time between when you wake up and get out the door is the most crucial. Then one day, perhaps it is the fourth day in, you wake up, and it's cold, and it’s pouring rain. You think to yourself, "It’s a Sunday. Maybe I don’t have to run on Sundays. Maybe I should give myself a day off." If you were running all week, maybe that would be a legitimate excuse. However, you only started on Thursday so that excuse is not going to fly. You think to yourself., "Well, it’s Sunday. I don’t have anything else to do. I will wait until it stops raining."

Next thing you know it is Sunday evening. You are running out of time. It is now apparent that you will be running in the dark. That’s okay. Your neighbourhood is well lit, and you also have reflective gear. It’s 7:00 pm and you are about to get ready to go out when you notice how tired you are. It just hits you. You realize then that you stayed up quite late last night and you are quite exhausted. Maybe you will take a quick nap instead of running. You turn out the lights and crawl under the covers and convince yourself that you will wake up in half an hour. You wake up 8:30. You still got four hours to run! You are good. Just pull yourself together, you can do it. Nestled into the covers, you feel warm and cozy you could drift back to dreamland then wake up nice and early in the morning for a fresh start. Instead, you text your support partner. You say, "I have less than 4 hours to get my running in. I need to get up and go." Your support partner texts back, "GO!!!! ", "Okay, Okay," you say.

My idea for writing about all the new tools I was going to look up today is no longer not feasible. Writing about this would require time for research and exploration. The Pomorodo Technique is going to have to wait one more day. I am sure it is good. I skimmed over it. I see it’s about time management and there is a whole book on the subject. Time management as I’m racing for my deadline, what a novel idea! I then recall a video I watched around 4 am this morning, it was about a laser technology designed to identify mosquitos and zap them out of the air. Now that sounds rather cool, but I only have 3 hours now to write and I am thinking something like this is going to require some research and once I get into it, it could drag me down a rabbit hole too deep to return. I will save it for another day. I still have 26 days left. I now have two reserved topics, broccoli sprouts and a laser beam mosquito killer. Time is running out, and I’m just going to have to wing it.

With 200 words left let’s talk about motivation. Why is it that some days are a breeze and other’s are like walking through thick sludge? It’s not like writing is something I don’t like doing. I love it. Once I get going, I find it quite enjoyable. More enjoyable is the finished product that comes with a feeling of accomplishment. I push my limits. I have these feelings of foreboding especially when I’m writing and researching something in which I'm not familiar. I feel that I am way out of my element, and then voila, I have a story. It may not be as sleek as the stories of real professional writers, but it’s a far cry from pathetic. I wake up the next day and see my comments. Why would I not want to start every day like this? It’s rewarding and fulfilling. What is the hardest part? The hardest part is searching all day for your sneakers and realizing they are nowhere and you are running out of time, and you are going to have to go running in flip-flops. It’s not going to be pretty, but you are getting it done.