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RE: Investing
"Okay, so they weren't actually investors as much as mafioso, and it turns out I can't actually drive it here without a $100,000 retrofit... Also I offered your ass, my sweet dear wife, as collateral, so..."
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This is what I came up with searching hillbilly bus
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Unfortunately I think that would make you a gypsy, and you know how people treat gypsies.
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