“Happily, Ever After” and “Forever”

“Happily, Ever After” and “Forever” are terms that just sound good in the books and not in the real life. Everyone, at some point of time loses the ones they are most afraid to lose and that’s the reality of life. This is what I told her when we were talking over the phone and all she could manage to reply was “Shut Up”.

She is my best friend and we love each other with all our heart. Not the romantic kind and that is never going to happen, but pure unadulterated love. We worry about each other a lot and always have each other’s back. At times, I worry a little more than usual and she knows it too well. So, it’s obvious that when I talk about leaving she gets gloomy and shuts me up. I pull her leg a bit before I drop the topic but the fact remains. Someday, something will force us to part our ways.

There will come a day that would be our last. The day that I will have to leave. The day that I will have no other choice but to just pack up and move on whether we like it or not. The day that I fear the most. No matter what I try to tell myself or to her. But there are times when you must do what’s best for the one you have come to call as your Best Friend, even if you end up getting hurt in the process. Their happiness means everything to you, doesn’t it? And to you it doesn’t matter if that’s with or without you in their life.

I still remember her last days at work when we had parted for the first time. It had plunged me into a feeling which I didn’t realise I could have. I wanted the time to just freeze. The thoughts in my minds were screaming to be heard once. I tried, Oh the gods know I tried my damn best to stop her from leaving. But each time I pushed my limit, the friend in me got stronger, the side that wanted everything that is best for her, that brings her joy and success. But the feeling that I had on her last day now seems very miniscule when I think about the time when I bid her adieu for the final time. It is going to be heart and soul breaking.

Yes, I have promised to be there for her forever. But if that promise becomes the reason for her tears or hinders her happiness then I am more than willing to break such promises a thousand times. I would still come back to her, whenever she calls me out, but I doubt that would be the same as it is now. Once you leave a person, he/she is never the same again and neither are you. But sometimes it's better to hurt someone you truly love for the time being rather than permanently breaking them into pieces later.

This is what I might have to do and no amount of mental or emotional strength can ever prepare me for the day when this happens. But these are the times when you must take the steps that you don’t want to, but still you must. For the happiness of the one person who has been your soul bearer, because, they deserve everything that they ever wish for. And because all you have ever wished for is their happiness.

So, if the time comes and maybe it will, I will gladly leave just so that she can have the happiness that she seeks and deserves. That would be my final gift to her, there would be no more “Until we part again” and that day would be the only time that I say Goodbye to her for the first and the last time.