Rhonda's Raccoon 3 - The Raccoonator

Image Courtesy of Pixabay

The year 2139 is not a happy time. The Future War is raging, and humanity is fighting for survival against the machines - led by a powerful AI system known as Muxxynet - an advanced system created by the forking of the @MuxxyBot code.

Muxxynet learns of a threat posed by the human resistance leader @Aggroed Connor and sends a ruthless cyborg assassin back in time to kill him. Aggroed is under the protection of @rhondak and her animal friends.

* * *

In a back alley of Americaville, something stirred. A breeze whipped up, randomly placed newspapers blew around the scene. Arcs of electrical discharge sparked from building to building, a blinding light appeared from nowhere and swelled like a bright blue bubble. Popping, there crouched The Raccoonator, wispy tendrils of smoke rising from its fur.

It raised itself slowly onto hind legs and scanned the surroundings. Raccoonator R-800 locked onto the location of its target and trotted off in pursuit.

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In the hills behind Americaville exasperated shouts could be heard.

"Get down, you stupid goat! Three damn hours I have been chasing you up an' down this damn mountain. What's got you so spooked?"

Naturally, there was no reply. As far fetched as this story is, talking goats do not feature. It did, however, continue ignoring Rhonda and chomped on a clump of grass.

"Aggroed! I need help."

An ever chirpy young man skipped out of the house, patted a pig along the way and joined his guardian.

"Whatcha doin' Rho?"

"Baking a cake. What's it look like?"

"Ooh, can I have some?"

Rhonda sighed and shook her head, ignoring his question.

"Rhubaarb needs to be in her pen. Help me corral her."

Suddenly the goat froze, its gaze fixed on--something. A rustling came from the bushes, and all three were now on edge. A black and white figure scampered out of the shadows.

"I need your boods, your clothes and your modorcycle."

"Lol, wut?"

It appeared Muxxynet had a sense of humor and installed a thick Austrian accent in this unit. Also, it was in the wrong scene.

Apparently unphased by a talking raccoon, Rhonda grabbed a nearby shovel.

"Get away from him, you bitch!"

Rhonda forgot she was not in Aliens.

The assassin leaped at Aggroed, intent on scratching his eyes out. He screamed but, with the reflexes of a cat on amphetamines, Rhonda swung the shovel and caught it right in the face, revealing a shiny metal skeleton beneath the fur, its eyes bright red lights.

"Ooh 'eck. Run Aggroed, run!"

Off he skipped. Rhonda once more shook her head. As the Raccoonator set off after him, Rhubaarb charged, head down, straight at the raccoon. Twonk! Her horns caught the cyborg, its midriff curiously unprotected. The body split in two.

"There! That's stopped you."

It hadn't.

At all.

The top half of the R-800 dug its paws into the dirt, dragged itself after Aggroed. He screamed.

Again.

Rhonda repeatedly whacked it with her shovel. Twonk! Twonk! Twonk! Raccoonator was relentless.

Out of nowhere, a pickup came charging towards them. Rhonda jumped out of the way just as the vehicle crashed into the cyborg, pinning it to a tree. As the red light flickered and faded from its eyes, it lifted its head, peering menacingly at Rhonda.

"Ail be bach."

"Aggroed! Since when do you drive?"

"Meh. I do things. I'm cool. I'm Aggroed."

He skipped off back into the house and took himself to bed.

See the post by @jhagi.bhai for the first story HERE
See @jrhughes's story HERE