Yeh it sucks :< I was messed up for quite a while after my cat died (and then the last cat a couple of weeks later aahh my heart). Can you go stay with your mum for a while? And maybe see if another bun would like to move in with you when you're feeling ready? I know nothing will ever help the Onyx shaped chasm in your heart but filling the bun-shaped hole might help a little?