I wish steemit was less centralized so voices like yours could be heard more cyanx. You are not alone. I can't say those mental disabilities get easier, but with time we all find mechanisms to deal with the bad feelings. I personally found solace with cannabis, but that's a road many people still fear to tread on.

I upvoted, resteemed and started following you. Hope you make progress and maybe one day get to feel somewhat normal.

Roy Achiron