Are Assholes Only Assholes Because Of Their Assholes or Is It Something Else Like Tomatoes?

in #art5 years ago

Some say, "A headline written in question form is a good way to get attention."
I can't seem to remember what they said when it comes to providing an answer.

Do I really need to answer that now or is this just another pointless question?

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Are you actually thinking about these questions?

Do you feel knowing the answers will somehow improve your life?

Is it Monday where you are?

Do you like Mondays or are you someone who prefers another day?

Have you been to a restaurant that serves free refills? Do you actually get a refill? Why do the places with the tastiest drinks rarely offer refills?

Do you become annoyed with people who ask too many questions? If you do, is it because you don't have all the answers?

Where are my keys? Have you seen my keys? Why am I talking to a nasty key thief?

Should I actually write a post today?

Am I being an asshole? If an asshole was aware they were an asshole but continues to be an asshole, does that make them a bigger asshole, or is your anal retentiveness simply getting in the way of you having a good life, again?

How many questions is too many questions? Will it ever end?

Is there anything wrong with placing a question mark at the end of this sentence?

Did you forget to study?

Does this remind you of the nightmare you had the night before the big exam?

Why am I doing this?

Does there need to be a reason?

Did you remember to buy toilet paper?

Do you know why people leave socks in the forest?

Have you ever seen a white horse?

Did you know if you read this to someone with hiccups, they wouldn't have hiccups anymore?

Did it work?

Littering and?

Am I being a hack intentionally?

Since a roast goes in a roaster, what goes in a toaster?

Why would you put toast in a toaster when it's already toast?

Do you like tomatoes?

Do you say tomato or tomato when you say tomato?

That's all this post was really about. Tomatoes.

I grew some tomatoes.

When I was a kid, I thought they were called Tommy Toes. My mom still reminds me of that. It's kind of annoying but I still like Tomatoes.

Here's a picture of me and my tomatoes this year:

Tomaters.png

I've been on mushrooms the entire time!

I'm a better gardener that way.

Here's what they look like fully grown!

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The only thing I don't like about this particular strain is how they sing all night when I'm trying to sleep. During the day they give me directions to places I'm not going. "Turn left in one kilometer."

Do your tomatoes do that?

Am I doing something wrong?

Even when I threaten them by showing them what ketchup is, they refuse to shut up.

I was told gardening would be easy.

Those fucking hipsters lied to me again.

Have a nice day.

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No, it has something to do with the hot pepper added to the tomatoes while turning it into salsa that results in irritability of the asshole. No, you don't need to answer that now, although it might be helpful to people living with other people that are about to eat spicy salsa. Yes, I am thinking about these questions and I even have the good etiquette to answer in complete sentences. No, I do not feel the answers will improve my life, but the act of answering them might. Yes, for another hour and a half it is Monday here, but by the time I finish this it might not be. Yes, I have been to a refill place but I never get a refill, because that will then require me to visit their disgusting public restroom. No, lots of questions do not annoy me because I always have the answers, although they likely will be bullshit. What does annoy me, you ask? Having to continually scroll back up because I can't remember more than one question at a time, so I think I'm done answering. Best of luck on someone else giving you all the answers that you need.

Pretty sure that is not tomatoes you are dealing with. That is a tomato worm. Those things are disgusting. Especially when squished. Proceed with caution.

You answered quite a few. I can't believe you still failed the test though. I'd like to be a nice guy about this but I must be fair and firm with everyone, equally. No special treatment. You did not finish your homework. My vote on this comment is your grade. You can do better.

I can't believe I have worms again...

Oh dear, and I'm usually such an over-achiever. Does finishing the post I'm writing count as a make-up? I just wrote three-quarters of it, then spent five minutes twirling hair around my finger, another five wondering if I locked my car doors, and the last ten replying to comments in an effort to avoid returning to work. Frankly, this is not very good procrastination. I can do better.

I can't believe you haven't used the dewormer yet...

If you manage to accomplish something today, then yeah I'll probably send over the rest of that vote. Maybe bonus points if it's not shitty.

It's one of those big pills that doesn't go where pills normally go and I'm scared to do it.

It is guaranteed to not be about shit. Although I don't think it will be accomplished today, and maybe not tomorrow, maybe not ever...

You ate some of that spicy salsa, didn't you?

You'll finish it. Eventually. I didn't think I'd ever finish this one today, and look. All done.

I don't know what that stuff was.

I will get back to work then...right after I make a precise count of my split ends.

That's just what my dog thought after he ate hookworm garnished in giardia.

That's the spirit!

And those dishes sound delicious.

I was born on a Monday but I always wonder why would people leave socks in the forest

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I'll field this one.

Why do people leave socks in the forest?

Because when you gotta poop, you gotta poop. Socks become emergency butt wipe.

ohhh shit!

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I'll stop using tree bark, thanks for the tip.

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you literally saved my ass

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And you just wrote the funniest thing I've read all day!

Tatoers.. is about tatoers

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If I see your headlines I'll click on it XD For most other people though if the headline is a question that's one of a handful of criteria I have for bypassing XP

It's Tuesday where I am and one of my self-imposed work days. I really shouldn't steem on these days but my feed is quiet enough that I don't feel too bad just sticking to my feed (I have been making effort to wander into other tags more often on other days when I can).

Think anyone with kids is used to being barraged by incessant questions XD Did you have one of those days where one of your kids was finding endless things to ask questions about?

How were the tomatoes? Is that strain of tomatoes related to Groot? :O

There seems to be more questions than answers here, just like the news!

I could do an entire post of only my headlines and I think that would be entertaining enough...

That's pretty cool it's Tuesday. What's the future like? Flying cars and all that?

I remember those questions from when they were little. Now it's me being annoying, and asking questions. That's part of what inspired this post.

Maybe that's Groot food? I dunno...

I could do an entire post of only my headlines and I think that would be entertaining enough...


yoinked this one off Google image search which apparently got it from here

It's the tommy toes, and no, it will never end.

Oh! Hey! Yo! Be careful with those words. They hold mysterious powers and you'll never be able to enjoy your tommy toes the same way ever again.

I feel kind of attacked by all of the questions and now I'm stressed out!!

Fun fact: I used to go by the name Evil Tomato on the internet for like ten years, some people still call me by that name. I like tomatoes.

Where are you? Who are you with? Roar! When will you be back? LOL! Those guys...

I'll start calling you E.T. then! Have you ever had a toasted tomato sandwich with cheese?

Home. Alone. Back to where!? What is happening!?

Call away, I'm a bit odd anyways so. I have! I like tomatoes on my sandwich. And tomatoes on my pizza. And tomatoes just as they are. What is your favourite way of having tomatoes?

Straight off the plant. I can still feel their little hearts beating as I chomp away.

Sliced up on toast with cheese as well, if I feel like being fancy.

I like toasted bacon and tomato sandwiches. Cheese is good on there too. We didn't have Tommy Toes but I have heard of selices of bread and my little sister liked going to the lake to feed the squans, you know, the big white birds that look like geese. Like you, she doesn't like being reminded of her ingenious word. I don't get it. She also hates it when I do the Itsy Bitsy Spider walk up her arm with my fingers while singing it to her. She used to love it. Don't tell me that people don't change!

Adding the bacon is always a nice touch. One can throw a fried egg on there as well but when I start getting carried away like that, I always remember to slice the tomatoes, then place them on paper towel to soak up some of the excess juice that just ends up everywhere except inside the mouth.

My neighbor used to always tell me to futt off. I never let that rest when I see him.

My aunt would put a piece of wax paper in there so the tomato didn't make the bread soggy before her hubby ate his sandwich at lunch. He discovered the wax paper the wrong way.

They should make flavored wax paper. Problem solved.

Did you correct your neighbour's pronunciation or go along with it?

When I was a kid, I'd try to correct him, and he's just tell me to futt off some more.

Mmm, fresh tomatoes... aren't you s'posed to sing to them? I wantthat video 😆

They don't like my singing. Nobody does.

Stupid tomatoes. Howie's tone deaf, I still like it when he sings

Oh my God is this a writing littered with questions? Damn what was in that beer I was drinking? You mean I actually have to think? They did what was the tomato juice?

Do you ever mix tomato juice in with your beer? Pretty good stuff.

I like tomatoes and free beer refills...

Yup. Keg parties are frikkin' awesome!

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