Thoughts that you barely notice can ruin your day
“It’s so friggin hot!”
“These damn mosquitos!”
“Stupid tourists” or “stupid kids” or “stupid news anchors”
How many times a day do you find yourself muttering these kinds of comments to yourself?
No big deal, right?
It is.
When we focus on daily inconveniences, we are basically taking them up on their invitation to take a shit on our day and introduce negative emotions into our experience. This isn’t “bad” in a fundamental sense, but it’s contradictory if what you want to feel is happy or relaxed.
There are always things to be displeased with if we are looking to feel displeased, and when you give attention to these thoughts for too long, you are essentially stating your intention to feel displeased. As soon as you focus on your discomfort, however slight , your + will risk turning - and you start finding other things to be displeased with. If you don’t cut it out, those negatives pile up and grow and it can continue until you are questioning your very mortality.
Of course we shouldn’t get angry at ourselves for slipping up, and sometimes these inconveniences are so persistent that it might take a zen master to remain at peace. It’s good to give yourself a break and just complain once in a while, just know what you are doing!
Rather than putting pressure on yourself to think perfect thoughts, just get in a habit of observing the flow of your thoughts and experiences. You will find that most very negative thoughts were usually preceded by attention to minor inconveniences.
When we can cut the flow of negativity at an early stage, there is usually something favorable right around the corner for us but we need to stay positive or neutral enough that we can recognize it when it arrives. Sometimes it manifests as something just as minor as it’s negative counterpart, but the more we focus on it, the more momentum it will build.
The fundamental difference between a pessimist and and optimist is where they place their focus and that starts at the smallest of things.
Try it out in your own daily experience and see what happens ;-)
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by @skyleap
I agree. There was this old woman I knew and she started virtually every conversation with, 'Isn't it awful...?' Needless to say, she wasn't the sort of person you looked forward to bumping into.
Like you say, it can happen from time to time but mindfulness is important. Let the little things go to make room for the positive stuff.
BTW @lovebug... I think this is a really positive post. How about some love? :) x
They say people don’t change. I say BS! I used to be the biggest downer, now I’m a ball of sunshine, all it took was a small changes in my framing and perception :-) But people can only get it when they get it, at their own pace, so all we can do to help that old woman is to not be anything like her ;-)
Haha ball of sunshine :D Nice way to be.
Yes, it's funny how people say that when the evidence clearly points the other way. I've had a few major changes over the years.
this is my daily practice
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Be the watcher, don't get involved with doing always. Observing things can make big changes!
I’m just observing how I can’t get a taxi right now. I used to get angry, now I’m just like” I guess I’ll just keep steeming at the side of the road”
Ah one just appeared.
Hehehe....hope u had a good journey!
It's like mindfulness, which, along with meditation, has really helped me with my anxiety after quitting my job! I also feel less weighted down by daily life/BS. Sending some love over to you!
:-) I haven’t read a thing about mindfulness but apparently I’ve been piecing it together through a bunch of the ideas which must have influenced it. I need to find you on discord, glad you finally made it to our chat!
I'm not too active on there, but trying to be =)
Doesn't this expression kind of defy the whole article? 😅
Does it? I’m saying they invite us to take all shit on our day but we don’t have to take that invitation.
I mean using sanguinary language. It may be just me, but I think there are more pleasant thoughts than picturing the act of pushing a load :)
Yep, I totally agree, the way in which we experience the world is dependant on the way we choose to perceive it. It is always conscious choice, and within our power to change our landscape anytime we please.
I always find it amazing that when I don’t take that invitation to let in the unpleasantries, there isn’t usually a happy surprise waiting for me. :-)
mosquitos gotta eat too, you bustin around in their turf man all righteous and shiz like you own the place, you got to pay the tax. a little bit of blood never hurt nobody but can feed a mossy for a week. they got families and everything too.