[DREAMS] Spider-Girl... or How I Met Bruce Willis

Tonight I had a most peculiar dream. I dreamed that I was living in a film where I was together with a girl who was slowly turning into a spider. I heard a narration describing the spider-girl and her features, which seemed increasingly frightening to me. As she threw out giant nets and climbed on the walls I thought to myself, "how interesting to make a movie about a guy who fears both women and spiders and who then get together with a spider girl."

Then it cut to the next scene: my girlfriend had completed her transformation, and was now a giant tarantula that rumbled and stampeded over neon-colored hills and plains. The military sent rockets, jets and tanks against her, all in vain. She swallowed every single person who came in her way.

The scenery and the effects appeared to come from some 1980's B movie. Suddenly, she stood in front of me and opened her monstrous and gaping maw. Hoping that she would remember me, I screamed in panic that it was me, her beloved. And as she approached I shaped my hands into a heart, that somehow etched itself into the thin air as flashing neon-pink hearts along my slow-motion journey toward her terrifying mouth.

Once inside her body, I saw a magnificent and green world, with fairytale-like houses and buildings, populated with both animals, people and creatures somewhere in between. She told me in her hoarse and grotesque voice that here lived the the most inferior creatures. The swines that had done her wrong. I was supposed to go higher, farther. She had reserved a special place for me, among her most beloved.

I passed by remarkable buildings that revealed that she didn't have a great understanding of how the human world really worked. "Here you have the egg factory", she said, as if it was a given. Strange machines, instead of hens, were manufacturing the eggs. "I think I can thrive here, after all" I thought to myself.

Once at my final destination the tables were abundantly set with sweets of every conceivable kind. Hansel and Gretel to the power of 100. A chocolate bar filled with nuts as big as plums looked so luscious and inviting that I stuffed my mouth full with it. Unfortunately I dropped half of it on the red carpet beneath me. "Cleaner!", I shouted, and in the background I heard a stressed and somewhat stifled "Coming, coming." I thought to myself that he must be one of those inferior creatures that the spider woman spoke of earlier. 

Suddenly he stood in front of me on the red carpet, and I was surprised by his striking resemblance to Bruce Willis... or was it Tom Hanks? He was wearing a blue uniform and carried around the usual floor mop and silver bucket. "Are you not..." I wasn't able to come up with his name. 

"Are you not, Hank Williams?" I continued. "Or I mean Tom Willis. Bruce! Bruce Willis." He picked the sticky chocolate up, that by now had managed to leave a big stain on the carpet, and nodded in a confirmatory manner with a proud smile on his lips. Here I woke up.

I wonder what Jung or Freud would say about it all...

—  SteemSwede

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