Only Do The Things That Align With Your Values
"Do this"..."Do that"... "Make sure to do it this way"...
"That won't work"... "You can't do that"... "How will you make a living"
Yea it's pretty much BS.
Let me say that I've heard this for the longest time. We get boxed in. We get labeled. We feel forced to do things we hate. We often feel trapped. Simply put we're dying. What is killing us is the fact that God created us with gifts and talent but we choose to chase something else. Many times we are chasing someone else's idea of how our life should be. Stop it because remember you're dying. Choose to live. Choose to do what you want. Choose to live life according to your purpose, skills, gifts, or talents.
As Charlie Hoehn puts it, "play it away"
Click this link and this will lead you to the book that everybody and they mama should read
https://www.amazon.com/Play-Away-Workaholics-Cure-Anxiety-ebook/dp/B00IACZECE
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Good one @humanearl. When I saw today's topic, I was really glad that it was in line with your last 2 - 3 posts, which talked about you pursuing your music career, despite your mum wanting otherwise.
Am also glad that you have kept at this. It's not easy, you are already living your dreams, you could have said,
'' okay, I don't care about you guys, am living my dreams that's what matters to me''
But no, you've chosen to keep talking and expantiating on the matter, so as to reach one more soul, and that's sacrificial lying phenomenal. Thank you for it.
Well, I would love to work for myself and have the flexibility to pursue multiple different things. As soothing as a routine can be, I would love a career where each day is a little bit different. That way, there’s no monotony to make me crave Fridays and groan over Mondays.
My parents? They’re a little less sure about me working for myself. I still love them, and they still love me, but they don’t really understand why I would want to be an online business owner or what I would do, especially when it comes to health insurance and retirement plans. Don’t get me wrong, those plans are great to have in place, but to me, they’re not worth taking a job which makes me unhappy.
I know they have good motives, but goodness is relative. Feeding a child with a lot of sugary stuffs is an act of good will, but relative to her health it's bad.
We just pray God helps our parents to see us for who we are, and support us all the way. Thank you.
Many people can relate to your situation. I know it is hard to go against what our parents expect from us. We don't want to disappoint them but at the end of the day we have our own lives to live. I hope you follow the things that really excite you because it seems that it would help you alot.
Another thing I want to say is that sometimes the comforts of this world can stand in the way of us actually living. Healthcare, nice cars, nice homes, nice electronics, etc can be good but they can also enslave us into not living our full selves. You have to make a decision on whether or not your interests are more important to you than always being in a comfortable place.
For me I have given up many things to live a much more fulfilling and less stressful life. I don't have much money now but money is not that important to me as my purpose is. I know I have my family to take care of so I at least try to do that on a basic level. I am trusting God that He will provide everything I need as I pursue the things he placed on my heart to do.
Thank you so much @humanearl.
You inspire me whenever you post. I really love that you go after your passion. Keep living your dreams is the sentence.
I've had this book for a long time, and either I never knew what it was about, or I forgot. But I just heard the author speak in an online self-publishing workshop, and he mentioned this book. Once I heard that it was about getting debilitating anxiety from working too hard and burning yourself out, and then learning to cure yourself, how could I not read it? If I had read it last year, I might have been able to skip the whole burnout/breakdown/depression crash.
This is a good book with lots of simple, practical advice. The author does a good job of not making the whole thing overwhelming. Reading about anxiety usually makes me anxious, and that happened a little with this book, but mostly it was a peaceful read.
One exercise I really appreciated was listing everything you're worrying about, picking the top one or two, brainstorming three possible ways to eliminate it/them, and choosing the simplest/most fun to implement over the next week. Repeat weekly.
You know, I feel like I shouldn't keep needing to be told to sleep enough, eat vegetables, move my body, etc. But apparently I do. All the basics are right here. I should probably make myself re-read this every few months.
Above all, though, the premise here is to change your mindset. If you do a lot of shit that you don't like and/or don't care about, and you do it because you think you have to, then it makes sense that you'll start to feel anxious and/or depressed. But even if you can't change very much of that at all in the short term, deciding to change it gradually over time and enjoy as much as you can meanwhile is a very powerful thing. If nothing else, it shifts you out of victimhood, and the more you look for opportunities to play and have fun, the more you'll find. I've read a few reviews where people were like "easy for him to say--I can't just quit my job, blah blah blah..." That's what I thought, too, when I first heard similar advice. But over the next three years, I gradually eliminated pretty much everything I disliked from my life--even big things like my job and my marriage. If you do what the book says, you will get happier over time. Just don't be mad if it doesn't all happen right this second.
When you absolutely love your work, you won’t feel tired anymore, moreover, it will always be fun doing all the tasks. Hence, you will find yourself more productive. Thank you for this post and the ones in recent past. I am motivated and your goal for this post was achieved.
It's hard to deal with your anxiety head on. But I knew I had to in order to be better for my family. I did the things he said to do weekly and honestly applying those things to my life helped me in ways I never thought was possible. I literally was at the point where I had to follow those steps for my health. It was very hard of course because of needing to take care of my family. I'm very glad that I found that book because I still benefit from those principles. That's why now my life is filled with the things that give me energy instead of take away my energy.
Many people have said the same thing. " I can't just quit my job". But I don't think he was necessarily calling for people to quit their jobs. That's just what he did. Mainly his point was doing the things that give you energy and help to deal with the stress and anxiety. Another thing that really helped me to do that even more was the fact that I got fired from my job. Once I got fired that was my greenlight to finally focus on the things that were important to me. Once again this is very difficult because I have given up much money in the short term. But it is more than worth getting my life back on track.
I encourage you friend to just try some of those principles and see how you feel. See if you feel a difference in your mental health. I really hope things go well for you and if there is anything I can do please let me know.
Awesome post today @humanearl. I was still trying to put the last 2 posts you made to full practice, and you have brought another lovely one. This is to make me know that I need to work harder before your next post.
You know this post brings to mind the experience that happened to a friend. I believe his story is a reflection of what this post is all about, how what parents say with respect to the career choice of their children can either make or Mar them.
He wanted to be an artist. He did very well in highschool art class and His art teacher wanted Him to go to Kendal school of design in Grand Rapids. The teacher got them to accept him even though his grade point on average sucked. His teacher felt he had real talent and talked to his parents. They came to school to meet with the teacher, and they listened, but his dad said NO. He saw no future in art for him and that was that. His father said he would never succeed in it. That it would never work or amount to anything. His teacher was furious with the father for that(we bless God for our lovely teachers, they see our talents when all others don't.) . But he just accepted it and went into the Navy instead. Interestingly, everywhere he went he ended up getting special art projects from his superiors(the thing about a gift is that you can never hide, even when it is buried, it will find a way to get to the surface). He once was granted limited duty for two weeks to paint a mural size banner for a party they were throwing for theur Squadron CO who was getting transferred. They gave him anything he wanted, including an assistant and use of an officers car (they had special stickers on the bumper) to go off base and get supplies. He said he especially enjoyed how the marines at the gate had to salute him even though he was wearing an enlisted uniform. They would give him this real dirty look everytime he entered or left. He would just smile and salute them back.
From there, he got an art contract with the navy and is now into art full time, with a house a car, and a large paycheck.
His greatest joy is not these stuffs, but that he is fulfilling his purpose.
His father has apologised for not allowing him when he was younger
Am happy the way it turned out, and that's how it always does when you close your ears to all the discouragement, and pursue your purpose.
This is an encouraging story. What you truly enjoy doing is hard to hide and that's exactly why I have chosen to no longer cover up what I enjoy. This has been one of the best decision of my life because now I feel that the work that I do is valuable and meaningful.
It's a shame that working on art is not considered work when it's the artists who light up the world. We have to redefine work and stop confining it to just what society says is a normal job.
I am glad you shared that story with me. Thanks.
Ecclesiastics 9 vs 10
'' Whatever your hand finds to do, do it with your might; for there is no work or device or knowledge or wisdom in the grave where you are going.''
You have raised seriously important points here @humanearl. The sure is no better way to answer those who say your passion will not work or would not produce anything good is to actually give your passion your best. You have to work hard at it. It's a passion, but passion does not take away the place of hardwork.
Be committed to your career, to developing yourself creatively, professionally, and personally, and do something to move your career forward every single day. Eventually, this hard work will pay off and you will find yourself so immersed in fulfilling work that you love that your parents’ opinions won’t really matter anymore.
Also, guess who will likely be the first people to celebrate your big career successes? Your parents.
True words. I also think people would be inclined to work harder if they pursued their purpose.
I feel one way to answer people that feel you are wasting your time with your dreams is to make them see that it's not all about the money.
Being an African, my parents see things as being all about getting money and helping with the family needs.
I know I should contribute to the wellbeing of my parents and family, but I also think I should follow my dreams.
The whole reason that you decided to pursue your passion is because it’s so much fun, right?! Don’t forget this. Have fun pursuing your dream! Your joy is contagious. Who knows, perhaps you will even inspire your parents to take up some hobbies or pursue some passions and dreams of their own.
Enjoy your passion, live for it.
Thanks brother! It is not always easy to follow your passion or purpose.Many times it is hard. But at many times it is very exciting and rewarding.
Yeah a lot of sense made here. I can relate especially in the book.
Great, quick read (finished it in one sitting at a cafe)! It's such a simple but powerful reminder of just how important play is in life, especially when dealing with major anxiety, stress, and/or panic attacks.
Had quite a few, "holy shit that sounds so much like me!" moments in this. I don't think this book will magically unravel years of anxiety and stress-related issues, but I do see it as a very powerful tool.
A standout passage that really resonated with me:
"It took me a long time to see it, but I finally realized: I really don't function well when I approach life as Work. I have to think of life as Play. Otherwise I take everything way too seriously, my health and happiness plummet, and the work I produce is awful.
When I tackle my work with a sense of play -- voluntarily, because I'm inherently attracted to it -- my creativity and optimism soar. I fall in love with the process. My playful energy becomes contagious, and I'm able to create unique art with the people around me."
So i want to thank you for sharing this with me. I am reminded again to go back to the book because i needed such because i am actually doing something now that i dont really love. But after this, i will start pursuing my goals and passion more seriously
Go for it! Yea getting past stress, anxiety and depression is definitely not an overnight thing. It takes time and commitment to getting through it. This book has been a big help in my recovery process. What's crazy too is that I got seriously burned out about 1 to 2 years ago and I am still in the recovery process.
What I can say though is that now I'm much better than I was and the key has been focusing on things that bring me life and energy.
What a way to start a week. Thanks @humanearl for opening the week with this lovely post. It reminds me of those from last week.
You surely can't stop people from telling you your dream won't be fulfilled. But you surely can choose not to accept their report.
1 Sam 30 vs 6 '' And David was greatly distressed; for the people spake of stoning him, because the soul of all the people was grieved, every man for his sons and for his daughters: but David encouraged himself in the Lord his God.''
The worst thing that you can do is adopt your parents’ fears as your own. Stay in touch with your dreams and your reasons for pursuing this career path. Why have you chosen to become an actor? Reflect on this regularly. Know why you are doing what you are doing and allow that reason to motivate you each and every day.
You have to encourage yourself through the word, knowing fully well that God is behind you, He gave you that gift and vision.
Haha I would love to try acting but no it's not what I'm focused on at the moment. I love creating in general. Like writing and making music. Also I'm highly into investing/business. It's just a struggle because I do work everyday where no one is handing me a paycheck to do it. However I know my work is highly important in helping to build God's kingdom. So invest my time, energy and love into my work. This is not always profitable in money terms but at this point I don't care about the money in that way.
Regardless of where you are or how restless you are to move on, God has a purpose for you – there – in that specific place. He has called you to your job, as well as your neighborhood, even if you’d prefer to be somewhere else. He has called you to your family, even if you have been hurt in some way. We cannot let past events and experiences prevent us from opening our gift to a better future. We are the ones who wander off, while God gently guides us back to where we belong for this season
Matthew 5:14-16
“You are the light of the world. A city set on a hill cannot be hidden. Nor do people light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on a stand, and it gives light to all in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven.
Until you take a look around and realize that God has called you to that place for a purpose, you may end up staying there a while until you learn how to transform your restlessness into a contentment that comes from deep within. You see, if you don’t learn how to cultivate that now during difficult times, you won’t appreciate it or even recognize it later
Your words mean alot. I really appreciate your insight on this matter. I do believe God has a purpose for me and one of the hardest things to do is to trust him in the midst of all the hurt and struggle. But I trust him for my life. He will provide for me and my family while I carry out my purpose.
Thank you for this.
Diamonds are attractive because of their appearance and the value they carry. If one discovers acres of diamonds, the person can vastly accumulate great wealth. Who doesn’t desire to find such diamonds?
The great thing is…we all can find diamonds. They are existing everywhere. The surprising thing is most of the time they are just close to us. We don’t get to see them because we ignore their existence. They are in us, how many discover it. We may even change someone’s life just because we exercise our gift. It doesn’t need to be a huge one. Start small and someone out there will be inspired because of it.
Don’t be a pepper on the eyes of people; Rather be the salt on their tongue and make a difference that influences their sense of belonging to the earth.
If wewant to leave a lasting imprint to people we encounter, use whatever we have to offer. These are our gifts and talents. I am lifted from reading this today. I will check out the book and probably buy the book.
I like how you said to be salt and make a difference. That is exactly what I hope to do. That is why I share my thoughts and ideas with everyone so that I can inspire you all. I think you will really like the book and I hope it helps you like it helped me. Thanks.
Thank you so much for this series of enlightenment. I have been blessed. Thank you so much for giving us all a new meaning of life and how we should approach it.
If you think your talents are simply for you to make a lot of money, retire, and die, you’ve missed the point of your life. God gave you talents to benefit others, not yourself. And God gave other people talents that benefit you.
We’re all a part of the body of Christ, and each part matters. There are no insignificant people in the family of God. You are shaped to serve God, and he is testing you to see how you are going to use the talents he gave you.
Whether you are a musician or an accountant, a teacher or a cook, God gave you those abilities to make use of and not to keep it dormant. “Each of you should use whatever gift he has received to serve others, faithfully administering God’s grace in its various forms” (1 Peter 4:10).
You are a manager of the gifts God has given to you. They may be great or small in your eyes, but they matter to God. “Now it is required that those who have been given a trust must prove faithful” (1 Corinthians 4:2). When God made you, he made an investment in you, and he expects a return on that investment.
Man this is the comment of the day. Everything you said is so true. It is really hard for people to understand that their work here on earth is bigger than these things and themselves too. Our talents and gifts are to benefit others like you said. That's one of the greatest things I've really come to realize in following what God has put on my heart to do. It's that I get really excited and on fire when I can inspire and influence others.