The Grumpy Elf

The Grumpy Elf desperately needed a pint of cider that they would often try to nail to the wall. This seems to be a curious suggestion, to some, but not to the Elf, who felt it was simply life. Honestly, a pint of cider would be the item that was chosen.

The Grumpy Elf often carried a wig that they would occasionally watch for 10 minutes every morning. It is considered to be a fairly funny thing to do, to many, but not to the Elf, who had decided that it was in fact, magnificent. You wouldnt have imagined, a wig was the item that was opted for.

The Grumpy Elf often carried a Harry Potter wand that they would occasionally worship. It was considered to be a fairly astonishing operation, to my mum, but not to the Elf, who thinks that the idea was epic. Strangely, a Harry Potter wand was the item that was opted for.

The Grumpy Elf always had with them a vibrator that they would often annihilate This seems a different idea, to me, but not to the Elf, who expected it would be epic. A vibrator would be the item that was selected.

The Grumpy Elf desperately looked for a bottle of beer that they would occasionally watch for 10 minutes every morning. It would have been a fairly bizarre activity, to many, but not to the Elf, who assumed that the idea was out of this world. Who would have imagined, a bottle of beer is the item to choose.

The Grumpy Elf desperately searched for a can of Tango that they would occasionally try to balance on their head. It should be a strange exercise, to me and my husband, but not to the Elf, who thought that it was in fact, amazing. Bizarrely, a can of Tango would be the chosen thing.