The Retarded Elf

The Retarded Elf owned a bag of flour that they would occasionally cuddle. One might say this is a weird and wonderful activity, to me and my parents, but not to the Elf, who thinks that the idea was out of this world. A bag of flour was the thing that was opted for.

The Retarded Elf always kept a cheese grater that they sometimes put in the bath with him. It is a somewhat surprising idea, to you and me, but not to the Elf, who feels it would be spectacular. Bizarrely, a cheese grater being the thing opted for.

The Retarded Elf always had with them a radiator to put in the bath with him. It is considered to be an original thing to do, to me and my wife, but not to the Elf, who had come to the conclusion that it was in fact, magnificent. A radiator would be the thing that was opted for.

The Retarded Elf desperately desired a lava lamp that they would sometimes put on his head. It is a fairly bizarre operation, to you, but not to the Elf, who had decided it would be awe-inspring. Who would have thought, a lava lamp is the item that was chosen.

The Retarded Elf always carried a condom that they would sometimes try to nail to the wall. It would have been an exciting suggestion, to me and my children, but not to the Elf, who had decided that the idea was simply life. Who would have thought, a condom is the thing to select.

The Retarded Elf always carried a bag of poop that they would often annihilate This seems a somewhat surprising thought, to some, but not to the Elf, who thought it would be the most awesome idea. Bizarrely, a bag of poop is the item that was chosen.