The Horny Elf

The Horny Elf carried a bat that they would sometimes try to nail to the wall. It should have been an odd activity, to you, but not to the Elf, who had decided it would be amazing. Who would have imagined, a bat would be the thing that was chosen.

The Horny Elf desperately desired a can of Tango that they liked to break. This seems a fairly funny suggestion, to my mum, but not to the Elf, who assumed that this idea is simply life. Bizarrely, a can of Tango was the chosen item.

The Horny Elf often carried a spade that they would sometimes embrace. This might appear to be an original thing to do, to my mum, but not to the Elf, who had come to the conclusion it would be simply life. Who would have imagined, a spade is the thing to choose.

The Horny Elf desperately looked for a bottle of wine to rub on his belly. It was considered to be a curious action, to my neighbour, but not to the Elf, who expected that the idea was miraculous. Who would have imagined, a bottle of wine is the item to choose.

The Horny Elf carried a bag of poop to hug. It should have been a surprising undertaking, to me, but not to the Elf, who expected that it was in fact, simply life. Bizarrely, a bag of poop is the thing to choose.

The Horny Elf desperately searched for a cup that they sometimes put in the bath with him. It would be a different idea, to me and my children, but not to the Elf, who felt that this idea is breathtaking. A cup would be the thing that was chosen.