The Fucking Elf

The Fucking Elf wanted a magic 8 ball that they would occasionally drop. This seems to be a weird and wonderful proposal, to my grandma, but not to the Elf, who thought it was simply life. A magic 8 ball of all things.

The Fucking Elf often carried a bat that they would occasionally share. One might say this is a fairly odd thing to do, to my grandpa, but not to the Elf, who had decided that the idea was amazing. Remarkably, a bat was the thing that was chosen.

The Fucking Elf desperately searched for a teapot that they would sometimes demolish. One might say this is a fairly exciting exercise, to you and me, but not to the Elf, who had come to the conclusion it would be stunning. Who would have thought, a teapot was the thing that was selected.

The Fucking Elf looked for a piece of paper to worship. This seems to be a fairly astonishing suggestion, to you and me, but not to the Elf, who thinks it would be stunning. A piece of paper is the thing to select.

The Fucking Elf desperately looked for a bottle of beer that they would sometimes put down their trousers. It is a strange operation, to me and my children, but not to the Elf, who felt that it was in fact, breathtaking. Remarkably, a bottle of beer is the thing to opt for.

The Fucking Elf searched for a CD player that they sometimes watch for 10 minutes every morning. It should be a fairly extraordinary thing to do, to me, my mum and my dad, but not to the Elf, who assumed that the idea was spectacular. Remarkably, a CD player is the thing to opt for.