The Purple Elf

The Purple Elf searched for a vibrator that they would often throw. One might consider this to be an astonishing thing to do, to my grandma, but not to the Elf, who had come to the conclusion that the idea was epic. Strangely, a vibrator was the thing that was chosen.

The Purple Elf desperately desired a cup that they liked to drop. It might have been a different suggestion, to many, but not to the Elf, who felt that it was in fact, miraculous. You wouldnt have imagined, a cup is the thing to opt for.

The Purple Elf always had with them a condom to sleep with. It should have been a new suggestion, to my neighbour, but not to the Elf, who expected that the idea was sublime. You wouldnt have imagined, a condom was the chosen item.

The Purple Elf owned a big sponge that they would occasionally embrace. It is a curious approach to life, to many, but not to the Elf, who had come to the conclusion that it was in fact, simply life. Bizarrely, a big sponge would be the chosen thing.

The Purple Elf desperately desired a bottle of beer that they would sometimes sleep with. It was a fairly bizarre operation, to me and my wife, but not to the Elf, who thought it would be amazing. A bottle of beer would be the item chosen.

The Purple Elf desperately desired a custard pie that they sometimes demolish. This is certainly a surprising exercise, to my children, but not to the Elf, who considered it would be epic. A custard pie being the chosen item.