The Stupid Elf

The Stupid Elf desperately searched for a spade that they liked to put up their bum. This is certainly a fairly unusual idea, to me and my wife, but not to the Elf, who had come to the conclusion that it was in fact, entertaining. Strangely, a spade is the item that was chosen.

The Stupid Elf always had with them a tomato that they would often sit and look at. It is an extraordinary action, to me and my parents, but not to the Elf, who assumed it was stunning. Remarkably, a tomato is the thing to select.

The Stupid Elf owned a dildo that they would occasionally cuddle. This could be considered a fairly astonishing suggestion, to most, but not to the Elf, who had decided that this idea was wonderous. Honestly, a dildo would be the item that was chosen.

The Stupid Elf desperately desired a magic 8 ball to cuddle. This is certainly an extraordinary thing to do, to my children, but not to the Elf, who assumed that it was in fact, wonderful. Who would have thought, a magic 8 ball being the item opted for.

The Stupid Elf desperately desired a cheese grater that they sometimes embrace. This might appear to be a fairly weird suggestion, to everybody you know, but not to the Elf, who feels that the idea was spectacular. A cheese grater being the item selected.

The Stupid Elf always had with them a bat that they would sometimes sleep with. It might be a fairly bizarre approach to life, to my grandpa, but not to the Elf, who considered that it was in fact, fun. A bat being the thing opted for.