Five Ways I Workout While Living in Vietnam

Home Workouts and Running

My Vietnamese house is big and made of marble. In Vancouver, for $350 I wouldn't have room to brush my teeth and the only marbles in my house would be in a bag. Here, I have space for any workout I want. The biggest danger about home workouts are those marble floors. Once the temperature got to the mid-20's consistently, sweat became a major problem: huge invisible pools collect under me like Wile E. Coyote leaving oil slicks for the Road Runner. I have not slipped and cracked my head, yet it is only a matter of time; a yoga mat would be helpful here.

Running the area around my house - is great for exploring (and getting lost) and feeling like Rocky. Nearly every motorbike that goes by has a passenger who belts "HEL-LO!" off the back and gives a thumbs up. The yards are full of children who run out to watch me pass, waving at me as I fade into the distance, imagining Apollo Creed is waiting for me in the jungle.

Rice Paddy Shadow-Boxing

There is a highway near my home that snake through rice paddies, pig farms, and men fishing in the shallow lake to its side. Often times, when I run here, the road is filled with the smoke of people burning trash and I have to hold my shirt over my mouth so I don't suck in deep mouthfuls of plastic fumes.

When the trees give way to open farmland the road becomes a concrete dam separating the lake and the rice paddies. This is where the men fish and this is where I set up, using the cracks in the road to practice my footwork. When motorbikes fly past me, I pivot around them, throwing jabs.

When I see the water buffalo herders, I pause my workout and hug the shoulder and let the pass. I once made the mistake of continuing my workout - the buffalo made a run off the highway while the herder whipped them back under control with a wooden switch. Another time, they decided to follow me instead of their owner and I had three full grown buffalo and their calves pacing me as I jogged. It's safer - for me and the buffalo - if I stand still and pretend I'm a concrete pole until they moo past me down the palm frond ceilinged highway.

Tuấn Toàn Gym

Like every good gym this one is located underground - down a long flight of stairs so you can descend into fitness hell and re-emerge stronger and with better abdominal muscles. They have all the necessities for a real workout - squat racks, bench presses, free weights and - most importantly - skipping ropes and a heavy bag. The monthly fee is 300K VND - around $13 USD - and I think it includes yoga in the mornings but I have not yet braved waking up at 5:30am to run there and find out. I have, however, used the large mirrored yoga studio to blast rap music and work on my skipping.

Cafe Bóng Rổ Basketball Court

Lý Thường Kiệt was a Vietnamese general in the 12th Century who declared the first Vietnamese declaration of independence. The basketball court is on the street named after him and across the street from his temple; I try to make him proud as I shoot hoops in the suffocating sun. The café is located on the far sideline and baseline of the court, forming a vaguely Italian-style piazza, with the talkative espresso-sippers of Venice substituted for bia drinking Chinese tourists who sit in the shade of table umbrellas wondering why an insane white guy chose the deathly mid-day heat wave to practice hook shots in his running shoes.

Unlike Vancouver, where the courts become cluttered with leaves, beer bottles, and other obstacles - the workers here wipe it down frequently. Although the rims are not regulation width - a proper rim is supposed to be the width of two basketballs, this is barely one - and the sports store only sells cheap, plastic basketballs, the hoops are 10 feet tall and when I come in the morning it is empty. Later in the day, I have to practice while a crowd of children surround me like the apostles of Basketball Jesus.

[caption id="attachment_32" width="355"] The real Basketball Jesus.[/caption]

Shopping at the Market

You can shop in Vancouver without saying a single word; that's because shopping back home involves zero haggling. It strains the little mental acuity I have to shop the Hoi An market - I have to remember prices from last time, act hurt when they quote me inflated prices, and convert everything to CAD. My senses, too, are overloaded walking by tables of fish, chicken, and beef and hop the streams of melting ice and blood.

I vaguely remember things being priced per kilogram in Vancouver but here I actually buy them by kilogram. It costs 30,000 VND for a kg of tomatoes, green beans, or potatoes and for the same price I can get a dozen eggs. This is one of the only times I use my large tourist backpack.

[caption id="attachment_33" width="728"] Touristing hard.[/caption]

My abs and legs take more of a beating from the 45 minute walk back down Lý Thường Kiệt to Cam Ha than when I actually work out. If I can remember to walk with proper form, this is a fantastic ab, leg, and back workout - plus, I get to eat a kg of tomatoes at the end of my hike.

[caption id="attachment_34" width="728"] Until this day, I had never put a full, plucked chicken into a backpack before. I'd never chopped off a chicken's head either.[/caption]

[caption id="attachment_35" width="728"] Shopping is worth it. A loaf of bread cost 20,000 VND / $0.88 USD[/caption]

Results - One Month In

I am a writer from Canada, living in Cam Ha, Vietnam with my cat Twang.
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