What did that kid just say?

in #funny7 years ago

Recently, my family and I drove to Canada. Along the way, we passed the Indiana Dunes. I had not been there in nearly 20 years. As soon as I saw the sign, I felt a wave of memories rush over me.

The best and most vivid was about a question a five year old child had asked me over 20 years ago.



When I was 21, I began working at a children's home in the suburbs of Chicago. This was the first of two children's homes that I worked at in my early twenties. This particular job was my favorite of my entire life. Although the pay sucked (I barely made over minimum wage) the job was 100% pure fun.

If I had a ton of money, I would have done this job for free.

I was a "summer day worker". This translated to "director of non-stop fun". My 3 coworkers and I were in charege of providing the residents of this children's home with a fun summer. (Yes that is a job.)



There's 104 days of summer vacation... and my "job" was to make them fun!

The residents ranged from 5 to 18 years of age. Although nearly all of them still had families, their home life or neighborhoods were so dysfunctional and negative that their parents decided to allow their children to live in a residential facility. It was honestly one of the most unselfish things a parent could do. I know it killed many parents to not have their children around... but at the home they had access to a safe environment, nutritious food, a great education and caring professionals who could help the residents deal with severe social/emotional issues.

During the school year, the residents all attended excellent public schools. During the summer, they deserved to have a childhood... just like everyone else in the neighborhood.

So I guess my title could have been "childhood facilitator".



It was the best!!!!

Every morning, we arrived and set up morning activities at the grounds of the home. This usually meant we played sports with the older kids (we actually got to participate) and set up games of kick the can or hide and go seek with the younger ones. Both adults and kids had a great time!

Because we wanted to get them off the grounds as much as possible (otherwise they would have been there 24/7) we tried to plan daily afternoon activities.

There was one problem: providing for the daily needs of 50 children was EXPENSIVE. Because the home operated 100% on donations, this did not leave a lot of money to pay for activities.

We typically went to the local pool, festivals, second-run dollar movies... and the Indiana Dunes.



When you grow up in the inner city, this seems like an amazing vacation... and the kids got to take one every week!

The Indiana Dunes were giant sand dunes adjacent to a beach on Lake Michigan. The older kids loved roaming on the dunes while the younger ones enjoyed the beach and water. It was the perfect outing!

Every Friday we took the 90 minute drive to the dunes. The kids loved it! Although it meant a long and hot ride in a van followed by eating sand covered bologna sandwiches, it also meant time to listen to music, hang out and laugh with their fellow residents (think of 50 brothers and sisters) and escape their problems for an afternoon.

Thinking of those trips brought back some amazing memories. I love watching kids having fun. In fact it is one of my favorite sights of summer. But what I loved more was watching kids with horrible back stories and terrible family situations having fun. I will never forget any of those kids.



I actually referred to two of the residents as "Beavis and Butthead"... because they were them! I sill have no idea what their real names were. Not only were the kids flattered by these nicknames, they LOVED them. But that is a different story.

Although every kid is incredibly memorable, there is one story that stands head and shoulders above the others. I still consider it one of the funniest things I have ever experienced. And the event lasted approximately 20 seconds. Those 20 seconds became one of my fondest and unforgettable memories ever.

One hot July day, we had a new five year old resident named Marquel enter the home. He arrived on Thursday at about the same time my shift was ending. I don't even know if I was able to speak to him that first day (Actually I doubt there was any way I spoke to him that day... I would have remembered). But I sure did on his second day.

That conversation was brief... yet unforgettable.

It was Friday... Dunes day.

The ride to the dunes was uneventful. All the residents including Marquel seemed to have a fine time on the trip. When we arrived, the big kids headed for the dunes while the the younger ones made a beeline for the beach. Tiny five year old Marquel joined his new friends.

As my fellow day-workers and I hung out on the beach and supervised the kids, one miniature boy approached us. Because he didn't know any of our names, Marquel approached our group, looked at me and said, "Mister can..."

Wait! I missed a huge detail.

Marquel's voice.

Marquel was 5. Not only was he tiny, he was the smallest kid I had ever seen at the home.

He had an itty bitty body. What's the big deal?

Well Marquel happened to have the deepest and most raspy voice I have ever heard in my entire life. If you are old enough to know who Froggy is from the Little Rascals, imagine Froggy. Now imagine Froggy's voice was 3 octaves lower and he had just gargled with a pound of hot sand.



If you aren't that old, maybe you remember that kid who sang "Chocolate Rain". Even that kid had nothing on miniature Marquel.



Back to the story. Marquel walked up to me (who was basically a total stranger with authority) opened his mouth, channeled Froggy and said,

"Mister, can I throw rocks at people?"


Trying hard not to burst into laughter, I simply said "No."

Marquel grinned and belched, "Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeease."

I still have no idea how I did it, but I managed not to laugh at his plea. I calmly said, "No Marquel. I appreciate your manners but someone could get hurt. You cannot throw rocks at people."

He replied, "Oh mannnnnnnnnnn" and returned to playing in the water.



The second he was out of earshot and was no longer looking at us, we all burst into laughter.

What was he hoping I'd say? "Well since you were so polite and said 'please' of course you can throw rocks at people. Here, let me help you find some nice big ones. Would you also like to juggle fire, run with scissors, eat those mysterious berries and try to sneeze with your eyes open?"

To this day, it is still the funniest thing any child has ever said to me.

As the summer went on, we all discovered what a great kid Marquel really was. Actually, although I joke about it, a five year old asking before doing something foolish was a pretty good indicator of what a fine young man Marquel would grow up to be.

Luckily for me, I was able to find out first hand. Ten years after the famous attempted rock throwing incident, Marquel attended the high school at which I was teaching. He was enrolled in my World History class. He had grown into a wonderful teenager... and he never once asked if he could throw anything at his classmates.

What is the funniest thing a kid has ever said to you?


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Well at least he asked nicely to toss rocks at people lol.

Exactly. So polite. I felt bad saying "no".

Hahahahah! Well he could have just started throwing them and asked after lol.

Funny post, I enjoyed reading it :) I would love hear the "Beavis and Butthead" story about the two residents. I used to watch that show a lot back in the 1990s when MTV showed more less reality programming.

Those were a couple of funny kids.

I bet they were especially if you gave them that nickname :)

Another great post. Thanks for sharing!!

If I can recall a silly child question or comment I will be sure to add it here, but as of right now I'm still waiting on my morning coffee and am lucky enough to function at a level to write this post. Cheers!

On my flight this morning, a mother was traveling with her 3 sons. The kids were all very well behaved throughout the whole flight. The mother was sitting next to one son, possibly the eldest, and the middle and youngest sons were sitting a row behind them.

After landing at our destination, the youngest, maybe 10 years old, asked his 15? yr old brother "can I knock you out?" A very nonchalant question, but hysterical in the tone of voice he said it, because it was so sincere! After a few gentle laughs and a "no" response from his mother, he says that he planned to knock him out with a head butt!

Randomly a few minutes later, the same young boy mentioned that he heard somewhere that when you bump your head, you can lose ONE brain cell. At this point, I'm trying not to 😂.

That was a very amusing start to my day!

That is awesome! The lack of a brain to mouth filter can be very funny.

hey. the funniest thing for me was "do all kids stay like this or will this ever change?"

LOL. that is a great question. I think the answer is ... "it depends".

We should always keep the ability to be a kid once again...

" your so handsome " that the most funniest i ever heard that kids said to me :D

i hope u like it ROFL :D

Well, at least he was polite enough to go ask a grown-up for permission, I've been around a lot of children that would've just done it without caring.

His politeness really made it even more memorable.

Great story, funny kid, and happy 'ending'. It doesn't get much better than that!

Oh, and I hope you waved when you went by. The Dunes are 10 minutes from me... ;~D

Cool. Do you go often? Or doe sit lose its novelty living so close?

I have a couple clients out there, so a few trips (paid, yay!) a year is enough to tide me over. Awesome views of Chicago across the Lake on a clear day, too.

The nephew saw a small horse and asked: Is this such a big dog? :)

I've been to the Indiana dunes! Even was interviewed for the nightly news one time when we were there. A bunch of us college kids were throwing frisbee, and I was hopping around with one leg in a cast. My 15 seconds of fame. They must have misprinted my phone number when they gave it to all the talent agents, because I never got a call.

My favourite was my nephew who likes to chase me around yelling 'garlic burps'. Welcome to Canada, hope you have a great visit!

LOL! "Garlic burps". Sure why not?