It Matters!
That familiar melancholic feeling
IT is crawling under her skin again
Covering her with blanket of emotional despair
Distorting her consciousness
Smothering her while trying to pull her under
Dragging her deep into the darkness
Slowly draining away the life in her
Leaving her slumped on the ground
Scream caught in her throat
Struggling to make its way past her lips
All she could managed is a weak whimper
Pleading in vain
Using every ounce of her strength
Picking up the shard of broken glass
Drawing the shard across her skin
Warm blood rushed to the cut
There's a dim light ahead
But IT's still inside
This time she pressed deeper
Until a scarlet red puddle gathered on the floor
She's back in her room again
IT is gone
Photo by author
A quick clarification: whether I happen to write like an AI or AI was simply trained on my older work, this piece is 100% human-made and was originally written in 2017, previously published on Instagram.
Note:
It took me tremendous courage and unmeasurable pain to open myself up to write this piece for #childrenofinksept2017 on mental health. This certainly won't change the world but I do hope that it will make a little difference on the stigma and discrimination surrounding this subject.
Self harm is about coping with or expressing emotional pain and overwhelming emotional distress.
Sometimes self harming could be bordering on intention to die or just to relieve unbearable tension, so it might also be a silent cry for help.
The next time you see someone with self harm scars:
Please be sympathetic, listen to what they need to share with you. You may never understand or even relate to it but it doesn't matter as long as you listen.
Never dismiss or invalidate their feelings and their self harming, as if it doesn't matters. IT MATTERS!
©Britt H.
Thank you for reading this.
More about the person behind the writing in My Introductory Post
As most know, my health has worsened. Managing my condition & constant hospital commutes are exhausting my daily spoons. Writing is my lifeline—the one thing I can still do while managing treatments or being bedbound by a flare-up.
If you find value in my work, please consider buying me a coffee here. Your support is more vital & goes directly toward my medical expenses. Thank you.
My daughter-in-law had borderline personality disorder. She was a wonderful person, and I tried to understand what on earth could possibly drive her to harm herself. She couldn’t really explain it to me – but I remember her saying: “It’s only when I see my blood flowing and feel the pain that I feel alive.”
Even though I know that feeling so well from my own lived experience, my heart still felt like it was being violently squeezed reading this. To know that someone else carries that exact same pain. No words can describe those feelings. People are actively avoiding pain and hurt, yet for some, that very pain is the only thing that makes us feel alive.
It's good to know that there's someone that was concerned and cared enough to try and understand her. Many people wouldn’t even be able to hide the disgust on their faces when they saw those wounds or scars. Don't even bother to care or attempt to help like passing by an accident scene and just drove off.
I hope your daughter-in-law is feeling better now. She is truly lucky to have you.
On the other hand, I’m sorry to hear about what you’ve been through… I think it actually makes you stronger. Thank you so much for being so open about it! It shifts the focus away from the stark scars and towards the person’s emotional experience. That’s important.
I suppose that's when 'what doesn't kill you makes you stronger' actually rings true. Like you mentioned, it’s so much about what’s carried inside. Those scars turn into reminders, pushing us to pour more into self-care and protect our peace so we don't end up in the dark place again. Thank you so much for really taking the time to read that piece.
Upvoted! Thank you for supporting witness @jswit.
With you I truly hope this will reach someone in need, someone who feels the same. For sure it will.
Although not steemexclusive you deserve a booming vote!
Title, text and hashtags are all good and perhaps not intended your post will also lead to Steemit if one searches.
I truly believe you are on the good road and encourage to write, whatever it is, off your chest.
This booming vote is yours and well deserved.
❤️🍀
I think posts like this work both ways: it gives the writer a chance to get things off their chest, and lets readers connect through their own shared experiences. It's healing for both sides.
Thank you for the vote.