If I Could Change One Thing
When I think about my life, there is one thing that I would like to change and that is that I have let fear and self doubt take control of many important decisions in my life. It's interesting to note now that there were multiple times when I could have tried but didn't because I was afraid I wouldn't succeed. I was never afraid of what people would think if I did something wrong. I just didn't take any action, waiting and rethinking.
Whenever I do a lot of thinking, I can always remember one moment when my mind goes back to my past. Recently I had the chance to acquire a very important digital skill from one of my friends, a skill which I didn't have one year ago. Many young people around me were already getting themselves up-skilled by learning various online skills at that time. Some were learning graphic design and some were learning video editing, programming, and creating content. My friend urged me a lot to come along and learn from him.
Initially, I was really thrilled with the concept as I knew it might assist my future. In my heart, I wanted to be good and better and make my life better. I started to second guess myself, however, rather than starting right away. I was also thinking that perhaps I was not smart enough to learn rapidly. I also thought I would be unable to do things successfully or easily understand what other people did. Due to those thoughts, I just kept putting it off...
I would think to myself, “I'll start next month” or “I need a little more time before I start.” Unfortunately, those excuses went on for a long time. A few months later, the same individuals I had started with had made great strides in their self-development. Some were working for wages based on the skills learned and I was still in my place.
I would feel bad about myself whenever I would look at their progress. I did so regret the time lost due to fear. Unfortunately what I didn't manage to do is put it to good use, which was the painful part of it. It was my own mind that prevented me from going anywhere!
If I had the opportunity to do anything different in my past, I would not have that fear at all. I would advise the younger me to not overthink and just get going. At least it was difficult but I would've had experience sooner.
The real problem was I didn't have the confidence in myself. I was more afraid of failure than I was for growth. Before trying an activity, I was too worried about being perfect. Then I did not realize that success comes from a thousand beginnings.
But from that experience I learned much, and I will never forget. The most important thing I took away from the experience is that things don't wait forever to get an opportunity. When we are taking too long, we are losing valuable time that we will never get back, at times. I also learned, that failure is not to be feared. In fact, failures are the teachers that teach us things that success may not be able to teach.
One thing I learned is that comparison is a confidence killer. I was more judgmental than I was then and I believe I would have been worse off to compare myself to anyone who did not seem better than me at that time. Instead, I lost my heart to them, and I was discouraged. But now I've known that everyone's on their own level. No one is a master at the beginning.
I forever changed my mindset that moment too. My best effort today is to not let fear be an obstacle in my path to opportunities. When I want to pick up a new skill, I know that the first step is always the most difficult. As you begin, you gradually improve your performance.
Now, I have opened myself up to learning new stuff and trying new things. I have learned that there is no “perfect time” to take action as there is no such thing as perfection. Waiting for everything to be perfect, we may never start anything important.
This experience also made me more mentally tough. I remember when I was afraid, I wasted a lot of time. That memory compels me to move quicker and trust myself more.
I still feel bad about it sometimes but I'm also grateful for it because it has made me grow and develop emotionally and mentally. I may still be living in the same fearful mindset today if I'd never felt that disappointment.
There are many mistakes and regrets in life, but all of them bring us some lesson. Not everything in our history is pretty, but our future selves are influenced by our pasts. There is one thing I would change if I could, I'd embrace myself earlier and let the fear out of my decision making.
Now, I know that being courageous isn't about not being afraid. Courage is doing something when you're afraid. That's the attitude I now have in my life.
I invite @eveetim , @xkool24 and @mikitaly @sahmie and @bossj23 and @benton3 to drop a very constructive comments on this post and also to participate in this contest.