This must have been one of the hardest decision you've taken so far in your life. I was enveloped with shock when I saw this post, the content is so deep, I really wish I could help out with all you mentioned here, but it obvious am incapacitated... I really wish things didn't get to this point... I feel pained but life happens sometimes.
Well I will leave you with my prayer.
I pray that God come through for you and grant you all your heart desire, I pray you find rest on every side and that He satisfy you early in Jesus Name (Amen).
Please stay strong and don't forget your promise to be back. I will personally miss you.♥️