It is Women's Day
The contents of this article are influenced by three facts:
I am a Muslim.
I was born into a male-dominant society.
I have lived my whole life in a Muslim and male-dominant society.
So, there's a fat chance, you won't relate to what I'm going to write. If you are coming from where I do, you'd be able to relate word by word.
میں رسموں کی زنجیروں سے باندھی
اور سپنوں کی تعبیروں سے جاگی ہوں
I am bound by the chain of traditions,
And I woke up from the interpretations of dreams
These words from a beautifully composed OST of Pakistani drama Baaghi are heart-piercing.
This is the full song. I don't usually watch dramas, but this one was based on a true incident and made me cry so much that I had to stop watching it. It's about a bold girl born into a patriarchal family who was killed by her own brother in the name of honour.
We are often misled into thinking that Islam allows patriarchy and gives no rights to women. I will clear up this misconception with a small example.
How could Islam render women less privileged when it allows women rights as basic as keeping their surnames after marriage to keep their true identity? In many cultures, women have been objectified, considered possessions of their husbands and denied inheritance. On the contrary, Islam is the complete opposite of such societal norms.
As women's day is approaching, people start making efforts to appreciate the women in their lives by sending flowers, baking cakes, writing beautiful notes/cards and giving gifts. While these are all cute gestures which women love, being part of a patriarchal society, I think we need to make efforts on deeper levels.
Break Stereotypes
It's true that Islam has given the role of bread-earner to man and running the household to woman. The reason being, man is strong physically and emotionally, whereas woman has motherly instincts by nature.
Instead of taking this positively that women have no responsibility for going out and providing for the family, it's perceived negatively. You know why? Because males in our society "force" this teaching on women by denying them higher/any education and going out to earn.
What we don't understand is, there's a difference between "preferable action" and "restricted action". Women in no way are restricted to stay at home. If the need be, they can provide for the family.
You might be thinking about what world I live in. This is 2024, and she's talking about something as basic as the education of women, when in the world women are ruling over countries.
It won't be a lie that there were times, I was scared, what if my dad won't allow me to pursue higher education because after all we were part of the same society. But that didn't happen. He was and is still my biggest support system.
I have female friends who are doctors at the world's best hospitals, are engineers at CERN, are MIT alumni, are fighter pilots. They all belong to the same society as I am. But I know countless other women too who are denied education just because their parents will marry them off to a rich husband, and she will not have to worry about money.
What they don't understand is, education is a basic human right. It's not only required for earning, it transforms you as a person, it enriches your thought process, it allows you to live a better life in many ways, it helps you to do better upbringing of the next generation.
Let's promote women's education.
Let's encourage women in our lives to pursue higher education.
Let's be their support system when they want to take up their dream job.
Let's provide them with equal opportunities.
Celebrate their academic and professional wins.
Women are Human
Besides basic matters like education, opportunities, independence - there are some grim issues in many societies, like violence and harassment.
We don't realize it, but in my opinion, women are objectified more than ever and the culprit is our media, pointless memes and unethical movies.
This leads to disrespectfulness, which further encourages gruesome acts.
Let's be mindful of what we watch and what kind of content we create for entertainment.
Let's teach our boys to respect and protect all women.
Let's be more considerate and respectful of each other as women because united we soar.
Let's share the workload of women who choose to stay at home and never demean them for their choice.
Before talking about big changes, let's just focus on uplifting and supporting women in our immediate circle. It will make the whole difference.
Invitation to @ngoenyi and @aminasafdar.
You have said it all dear friend, women are also humans and they deserve every good things that men folk deserves. Right to education amd ither basic things of life.
I am glad to read about the rights of women in Muslim. I thought it was the opposite. Imagine allowing women to retain her maiden name even after marriage! Its a new thing that i habe learn today. Thank you for the invite. I will make efforts to join the conyest. Success in yoir entry
Yes, it's all about basic human rights. The term "feminism" has become so controversial nowadays. Campaigns like, "My body, my choice" and "Warm your own food" have lost their true purposes and promoting entirely something else.
"My body, my choice" doesn't mean women (even men) should be free to wear anything when they go out. Instead, it's about marital rape, bearing babies... it's about having basic choices in these sensitive and sometimes life-threatening matters. But we ignore to raise these more important issues over the desire to go out naked as animals as shown in every other Netflix show.
The same goes with "Warm your own food". It meant, that men should lend a hand at home, especially for their tasks, and not rely on wives for every basic thing. But it never meant that women should become completely oblivious to them. Living together only works, when efforts are made from both sides.
I won't go into how wrongly Islam is portayed to the world. I'd just sum it up with: Islam makes things easier. It is us, who have created difficulties for us.
I wanted to say a lot more but the post already crossed the limit so I'm venting out in the comments now. 😆
I look forward to your entry.
Hi dear
Greetings to you 👋. how are you I hope that you are fine and doing your work great. I'm fine too Alhamdulilah by the grace of Allah almighty who is the most merciful and beneficent. The woman plays important role in our society to raise new generation as mother's lap is the first place to learn for a child. If we invest in women as a mother she will raise her children in better way. Best of luck for contest wishing you success 🤞.
Best regards @jannat12
Indeed, a mother is a child's first teacher. If the teacher isn't fit then imagine what kind of generation comes forward.
Hi dear, after a long I am reading your writting and I know I am definitely gonna love this.
I am from Bangladesh and I can relate every word you write. As I am good at Urdu too so I make out the depth of this song too.
I too was born in a male-dominated society and living with them. In our society, women were treated as machines who have no desires, no dreams, and no rights.(Now this concept has changed a bit)
I would like to share an interesting example, a teacher asked his students in class to punctuate a sentence that was
"A woman without her man is nothing"
Maximum boys wrote in the answer: A woman, without her man, is nothing.
Only a few of them wrote
A woman, without her, man is nothing.
This is the condition of a male-dominated society. We should teach our boys to respect all women only then women can be able to protect themself. Happy Women's Day to all.
Believe me, we are women, we can do anything if we want to.
I appreciate you for checking up on me.
Love to know that you understand Urdu and could perceive the depth of the song. Although, your apprehension comes more from your experience with living in a male-dominant society.
This contest reminded me of this song and I played it throughout the time I was writing this post.
I like the example. Even I'd have punctuated it like most boys. Because my brain was wired that way and it's hard to entirely breakfree from these norms.
It's heart breaking to describe the women's rights violation in our society which comes from men as well as some women (who didn't get proper education).
I remember this drama and how much tears it made me shed. The irony was his brother who killed her but found it appropriate to eat her earned money. Where was his Gairat/Honour that time?
You know what, we say women's education is important, cool, but men's education should also be the utmost priority. Have you seen that Halwa incident in Lahore market, a new Islamic drama of those mullahs, Wallah they were illiterate (didn't know Arabic to know its meaning), but had the audacity to preach around.
Niri Jahalat, it makes me sick, and I wonder how low would they go, and they surprise each day:)
This honor culture is not a part of Islam, instead we have inherited it from India, or i believe it's common in third world countries where economy is collapsing so our men project their frustration on fragile creatures (physically), women.
Well, this is funny too, a fantasy of our women to change it, i think often what about those women who marry multiple times, how hectic it would be for them to change their surnames every time.
Yaar, keep your father's name intact, instead. No headaches:)
Lastly, i want our women to be strong enough to say what is wrong infront of our men(our brothers, husbands, and fathers). It's high time to come out of that shyness to stop men to do bad to other women.
Respect is for everyone, it should also be for those women who dress differently, act differently, and live on their own, they are not sluts but just a human being:)
You are right. Like I said boys need to be taught from early age at home. Our kids learn what they see at home, not what they are taught in books. If my husband treats me well, it's more likley that my boys will respect their wives too in future.
In this post, I highlighted more on women's basic right to get any level of education they desire. They shouldn't be shunned away to stay at home after matriculation just because - روٹیاں ہی پکانی ہیں
Because what if her "rich" husband turns out to be cruel, gets bed-ridden or dies... what she'll do then? The same parents won't take her back. She won't have any skills to monetize. Our society doesn't treat divorcees and widows any better.
It's better to always have a plan B and C, no matter how good or rich your husband is.
Yes... we are the nation who would also kiss the word بیت الخلا because it's Arabic. I'm not just saying it.. it's a true story. 😅
Not the current India. These ridiculous cultural traditions date back to the Mughal Era. The whole South Asia suffers now.
I didn't find any reference where it is prohibited to take after husband's name either. So, I think it's upto an individual's choice however they wish because it's thought to make things easier in legal documents and stuff. Although, I chose to keep my father's name and I've never had any kind of difficulties so far.
As a nation we make short term plans for a few years or a decade, like our politicians. Our vision is restricted, in this modern age every woman must have any skill she finds compelling to become self sufficient atleast:)
In a lot of cases, men respect their wives who earn and not depend entirely on them. Otherwise they think they have a right to treat her bad because he provides her.
That's the point and i actually appreciate you for that👏
Recently, i watched a video of Bangladesh where men were so habitual to urinate on the walls, after clearly reading it prohibited in their language.
So the govt played a trick and wrote it in Arabic, not only did they stop doing it, but also started kissing the walls😂
What a beautiful expression of the emotions shared by many women in our community!
Regarding this drama, I must admit I haven't watched it, but I'll differ a bit here. I'm familiar with the story behind it, the incident that occurred. While it's a firm NO to women being killed in the name of honor, it's crucial for women to assert their freedom within some limitations in the system, provided by the protective aspects of Islam, like the concept of mehram.
If a woman chooses to break free from these boundaries and norms set by religion, she shouldn't face death in the name of honor. However, there are certain values they should adhere to. In this specific incident, the so-called protectors were far from being protectors or well-wishers of the victim. This points to a troubling trend in general.
But talking about us (for example, you and me), we are allowed all kinds of freedom by our husbands and fathers. Having said that, we have not taken this freedom as a way to deviate from some teachings that are there for our own good in our religion.
Indeed, you bring up a valid point. Striking a balance between freedom and adherence to those teachings is crucial.
That's my opinion of course:)
Your post is really awesome. Best of luck for your contest.
I think I gave the wrong impression by sympathizing with the girl. I tried to keep the post short because of the word limit 😏 ; I couldn't share my opinion on the drama/incident in detail.
I don't support the actions of that girl. But more than that I condemn her fate.
Since that girl was kind of a celebrity so as much as I've seen that drama, she wasn't portrayed as bad as the stories on the Internet. The focus was more on how she wasn't allowed to do the smallest of things when her first husband was a complete flirt.
It just boils my blood to see that women are being killed in the name of honour, whereas men are getting away with every hideous crime. In this case, the murderer brother was also set free after three year imprisonment.
In nutshell.
Or as I said the "so-called" mehrams and protectors of her were just a fraud and bunch of hypocrites.
Bravo to you for this wonderful post.
Halo temanku
Sebelumnya saya ingin berterimakasih dulu kepada anda yang telah menuliskan beberapa uraian terhadap perempuan, benar yang ada katakan , banyak nya terjadi angka pelecehan terhadap perempuan dan pembunuhan, ini adalah sebuah ke tidak adilan bagi perempuan karena menganggap remeh perempuan, kita patut menjunjung tinggi mereka, dan dengan adanya sebuah hari untuk perempuan ini adalah penghargaan untuk mereka
Salam kenal sobat ku, semoga sukses dalam kontes ini
We need to be mindful of media and entertainment. These days objectifying women is considered a cool thing whereas I find it to be very shallow.
You've summed it up perfectly, my friend. Women are just as deserving of all the good things in life as men. They have the right to education and all the basic necessities. It's wonderful to hear that you're glad to learn about the rights of women in Muslim communities. It's amazing how allowing women to keep their maiden names even after marriage is becoming more accepted. It's a step towards equality and recognition of their individuality. Thank you for accepting the invitation, and I wish you the best of luck in the contest.
I think all religions teach to respect women. It's us who need a reminder and proper education on the topic.
Thank you for participating in the Steemit Engagement Challenge Season 16 in the Steem For Ladies Community.
You have made an interesting entry. Women ofcourse needs to be protected, this is why we should teach our boys from early age to learn how to do so. Reading your entry gave more light on my believe for Islam. Best wishes!
I'm pleased to know you found this post enlightening. I was worried very few people would be able to relate or understand the seriousness of these issuse which women still face in 21st century.