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RE: Lois: A Story Written for the Ink Well Fiction Writing Challenge #2 - Bad Habits

in The Ink Well4 years ago

When I finished the story, I felt her crumbling. A great deal of effort went into not having to communicate in any meaningful way with other humans. I've always thought that chronically late people do that to control the situation, and this character controls her interactions with others by being late. I see the bad habit as shunning human contact, and being late is one of her tools for effecting that. Even when folks reach out, as Edwin did, she finds some way to push them away. Being late is sort of a strength in this story, in that she gets what she wants, isolation, by doing it.

This is a very sad story. I feel so much pain in her. That line about being a teacher shows her childhood evaporating really struck me.

Excellent portrayal of a very sad and lonely person, who probably presents as a simple snob. Wonderful submission to the challenge AG. A very compelling story.

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Thank you,@owasco.
Funny, when I write a story I grow with the character. At least that's true for the stories that work. Lois is sad, very sad. She doesn't mean to hurt, but does, especially herself. She began in my head as almost a caricature--uncaring, self-centered, vain. But that was impossible. That just didn't work, realistically. Then I looked underneath and saw all the defense mechanisms, all the rationalizations, that ruined her life and hurt others.
I'm glad you saw the complete person. Imperfect, unhappy, alone. Yes, a snob on the outside, but, as is true with most of us, very complicated.
You're a good reader and an intuitive person. I just read your cat post. Heading over there for a comment. Love that cat, love that dog, love Patches.
Regards,
AG

Ooh, that line leaped out at me, too: she was now teaching the children of her peers, and she was now a peer of those who had taught her. The passage of time. Ouch. This hit me when the children I used to babysit were now seeking babysitters for their own children. Why are we surprised to see children growing up? If we could see cousin Bobby remain age five forever, we'd be saying what's wrong with this kid, that he isn't astonishing us by having done the usual thing kids do, grow up....

How cool that Raj's prompt brought to life a character who's been in your mental repertoire, awaiting the right time to come forth, @agmoore!

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