The Dinner Party (Cosmic Reverberations)

in The Ink Well5 years ago (edited)

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Wow, wow, wow... so much is going on here. So many layers. Starting with the girlfriend and everything in its place, then the guy's POV. I had to back-pedal a few times due to POV switches but it all came together. That shower scene with the water running clear at last - like a baptism, a sacrament - that was powerful! I can see why it's one of your favorite scenes. The girlfriend, Abi, being fun, fun-loving, open-minded, and accepting, after my initial impression of her being an "everything in its place" type. The theme of redemption - conquering a heroin habit, selling a book, making it in Manhattan, and taking care of old friends who still haven't found their way out of addiction and "failure" - if that's a dream, may it come true by the millions. The emotions come through and the longing to "fix" the broken lives of others. "There but for the grace of God go I." You manage that tension in Rowan vs Charlie, the respect and compassion, when the fictional Rowan could be a pompous ^ss and wallow in his success but instead he remembers where he came from and who else got left behind. Bravo! I love the spirit of this and hope you do indeed find your real-life friends and a way to help them. Thank you for a message of hope in the midst of darkness.

Love the images too! Especially the first one. :)

Tried and failed to post this reply via Steempeak

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Twitter keeps trying to lock me out, I suspect because Justin Sun is reporting everyone. But I managed to get back in and share this short story that took 13 hours to write and 3800 words long. This short story covers themes of addiction, friendship and how we categorize other human beings.

The plot shows how random acts of kindness can reverberate beyond their initial effects. #posh @ocd @ocdb

https://twitter.com/rowanj808/status/1239628447778918400?s=20

This is just beautiful. The nuances, the intimate subtleties, there is so much emotion, and it comes together to create a really moving story. The descriptions are so evocative, the speech and language, the conversation lightens this so well, it feels so very bittersweet. The causal mention of Row's therapist carries so much about the shadows we all have. I was really impressed with the way this story played out, one some level i thought it may end up with a twist a bit like that episode of Inside No 9 but I was very happily wrong. This is such a deep story, built atop sincerely complex emotions, that feels simple, real.

You transcend the good/bad of the prompt so wonderfully, showing what might be perceived as a bad habit is just as much a result of circumstances. The difference between Row and Charley is so faint, as though either could have walked the others path. This line really captures it

"Seriously, come and join us. Life has a funny way of driving a stake through your heart and it's rarely anyone's fault really. It's just the way it is. Some get lucky breaks and others don't. It's life and it's fucking cruel."

The shower scene is so very powerful, (lol not a sentence said and meant this way that often) and not just for all the emotion is hits with, but the normality of Charley, how the life he lives isn't one he lives by choice but through fear, and feeling like there is a lack of another option, is probably very true for a lot of people. It feels like it wasn't the life he wanted, but he had embraced it anyway, because it was better than the alternative. There is such a depth of personal/emotional redemption, washing away the hurt with the dirt, and letting it all go, its a really beautiful moment. I love the bit about watching it drain. It was very symbolic, but equally, captures how temporary that feeling of "okay" can be.

The song is such a good element, I felt like it really added to the fine line between the two main characters, how different things might've been had luck run the other way. Just as the bad habit isn't underlined as such, the good that Row brings to Charley (and in some measure that Charley brings to Row) isn't grand, or spectacular, it small, and human, and so powerful for that. It doesn't have to be a big thing.

The ending is just perfect, the difference that human connection makes, it really made me reflect on myself, thank you.

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This was such a wonderful read Rowan, I could easily picture it all happening in my head. It was so real and raw, with the characters emotions expressed beautifully. This age old tale of rag to riches and how it can change us so much, I was so gad that Rowan never forgot who he was and that he was struggling with this new life of his. Being totally aware and still connected to his past.
The shower scene was beautiful, how healing water can be when we allow ourselves to acknowledge and own our emotions, seeing how they have created the foundations of who we are, yet knowing that we need to let them go, in order to grow.
Loved it my friend xxxxx

Thanks @trucklife-family this story is so personal to me. There are aspects of both Row and Charley in me and my history. I wish it weren't so sometimes, and I certainly wish that I had Row's life, although maybe living in a luxury place in the wilderness instead.

The shower scene was beautiful, how healing water can be when we allow ourselves to acknowledge and own our emotions, seeing how they have created the foundations of who we are, yet knowing that we need to let them go, in order to grow.

It was my favorite scene to write and had me in floods of tears. I have faced addiction in my life, but nothing as extreme as Heroin. But I have known people, good friends, who've become heroin addicts. They are ostracized and demonized, but what no one will face is the societal conventions that push people with that tendency toward addiction. True it is a choice, I would never suggest otherwise. People who choose it are often prone to depression, or they're weak in regards to impulse control, but they can also be some of the strongest people psychologically, especially when they get over addiction. Anyway, it made me cry because I recognized it was just a deeply suppressed memory from an experience I had over ten years ago when I decided I would stop taking certain substances every week to modify my life and perceptions. That shower scene is just a buried memory that resurfaced through the writing, I didn't even remember that washing away and cathartic release of emotion until days after re reading this story.

I'm glad you enjoyed the story Aishlinn xxx

This is a very poignant story, @raj808. There's a lot going on and I had to lock on to keep following at times through first person/third person shifts, but you harness it all and bring it on home with the way the main character connects with Charley in the end. I love how you show two characters having taken different forks in the road - and how that diversion split them in terms of their life choices and how their lives panned out, but not the bond they share, which is unbreakable through everything. Abi is a great character too, and I really loved how she developed through the story. Nice work!!

I had to lock on to keep following at times through first person/third person shifts, but you harness it all and bring it on home with the way the main character connects with Charley in the end.

Lol, you hit the nail on the head from an editors perspective here jayna. I actually spent the same amount of time editing this to try and make sure the POV issues, although evident, were a literary device and not just a mistake.

I needed it to jump from the different character's view point to really get accross what I wanted to express, but I'm aware it is something that is advised against even to first time novelists lol

I love how you show two characters having taken different forks in the road - and how that diversion split them in terms of their life choices and how their lives panned out, but not the bond they share, which is unbreakable through everything.

Thanks, this story is so personal to me. There are aspects of both Row and Charley in me and my history. I wish it weren't so sometimes, and I certainly wish that I had Row's life, although maybe living in a luxury place in the wilderness instead.

Abi... is my perfect woman ;-)

Excellent story! How easily they got back into their old friendship. I'll have to come back to comment more on this, but I loved it.

Thank you. This story is so personal to me. There are aspects of both Row and Charley in me and my history. I wish it weren't so sometimes, and I certainly wish that I had Row's life.

I'm glad you enjoyed it. I know that it can be a big ask putting a 3500 word short story up on steem. But between editing the dialogue, sorting out the POV continuity and inserting some plot holes this one took over 10 hours to write lol

It's not hard to read a long (ish) story when it's a good one. I do sometimes skip the ones that are that long, but I give them a bit of reading to see if they are worth it. This one was very much worth it.


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