To Sit and See...
"I'm a Human BE-ing, not a Human HAVE-ing or a Human DO-ing!"
No, that wasn't said by some famous guru or self-development oracle... it was said by me, many years ago when I got more passionate about simply walking my own path and turning my back on the "generally accepted" approach to life and building so-called "success."
I owe a lot to my Auntie who helped raise me, whenever my globetrotting wannabe jetsetter parents went away on some of their trips that did not include me.
My Aunt was 14 years my father's senior, and my father was 43 when I was born... so do the math.
Oddly enough, she ended up having more influence on who I am as a person than almost anyone else I have ever known. Perhaps the single most important thing she taught me was to just slow down and be aware of what was around me, in the world.
She had definitely seen what was "on both sides of the fence."
She had been one of Denmark's first female executives, and held a couple of dozen patents, mostly for chemical processes relating to paint and spray painting metals. During WWII — when there was extensive rationing and shortages in Denmark — she invented ways to actually reclaim paint off rusty surfaces and repurpose it as new paint.
Mostly, though, she just wanted to live a peaceful life and mostly keep to herself, away from the hustle, bustle and stress of the world.
When I was quite little, she was pretty much the only member of my extended family (and some of my parents' friends) who didn't think it was "a problem" that I was quiet and not a wild kid always "getting into stuff."
Times spent with her were always marked by one thing I never got to experience elsewhere... peace and quiet.
Of course, those words are utterly inadequate to express what I really mean. Her house and her company had a sort of stillness about it — on a purely energetic level — that made me able to relax and truly be myself while leaving all my worries, fears and anxieties elsewhere.
Keeping in mind that I was maybe 6-8 years old at the time, we would often go on the back porch and simply "sit and see." No words said. No purpose. We'd just sit and look at the breeze moving the leaves of the birch trees; bees busy in the lavender, birds go by, the shapes of clouds.
It wasn't about being lazy or dozing off, it was about being completely THERE, in the moment... without the sound of phones, traffic, voices and whatever else... made possible that she lived in a house on a relatively remote 24-acre (+/- 10 hectares) tract of wooded land.
And while I learned to just sit in stillness and absorb what was around me, I also learned how to think and problem solve for myself... something that turned into somewhat radical self-reliance in adulthood.
There's only one of you, and you need to move an 800-lb tree trunk of a hill, and you have no machinery? No problem. Need to mend something broken? No problem. Need to make food from the land around you? No problem.
Above all, it has been the "sitting and seeing" that has gotten me through the rough patches in my life.
I'm probably a little more social than she is, in that my own variation of "sitting and seeing" has expanded to also embrace people watching. It's interesting how much of people's story you can work out from really watching what's going on with them...
Of course, I say these things, having often lived a frenetic and stressful life... typically feeling like I had no choice, at the time. But even during such times, it was slowing down that kept me sane.
We run too much, in this modern life we have created. Let us remember that we are Human BE-ings... and allow ourselves moments to just BE.
Thanks for stopping by, and enjoy the remainder of your week!
How about you? Are you always on the run? Do you enjoy it, or do you wish you could slow down? Or do you already take time to just "sit and see?" Leave a comment if you feel so inclined — share your experiences — be part of the conversation!
(All text and images by the author, unless otherwise credited. This is ORIGINAL CONTENT, created expressly for this platform — Not posted elsewhere!)
Created at 2024.04.09 00:40 PDT
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This was such a lovely read @denmarkguy! Your aunt sounds like a wise and wonderful woman too!
I drew so many parallels in reading this - relating to both myself as well as Jude.
My parents were also absent for most of my growing up years, but it was due to what I would probably describe as "social jet setting" lol - rather than actual jet setting. They were both always very preoccupied with their personal lives and "fixing them" I guess. I suppose this probably had something to do with their rather ugly divorce and the nasty gash it left in everyone's lives - including theirs.
For that reason, I don't have "quite" as many fond childhood memories of time spent with my mom as Jude got with her as a grandmother and as you had with your aunt - but being able to see him have it, was enough.
The two of them used to "sit and see" a lot too, in the early hours of the morning. I would often wake up and find the two of them outside in the distance, Jude on her lap. They would watch the birds and nature in general. My mom eventually bought Jude a pair of binoculars for those moments together and she then began to teach him about all the different birds.
I have to agree with that. The value in making time for simple reflection is enormously underrated.
This made me think of Jude straight away! I was the wild problem child as you already know well, lol - but Jude has always been the complete opposite. Such a gentle, quite and very deep soul. I used to get so annoyed at people "judging" that aspect of his character.
I'll take that too! :D
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