Engaging in “Suffering Contests” Doesn't Really Help Anyone!

Without a doubt, virtually all people on the planet have experienced some sort of trauma.

Something bad happened to us at some point, and we may not have entirely processed the situation because we were either too busy or too afraid to look directly at it.

In many cases, traumatic things happen to us when we are not in what feels like a safe situation, so we have this horrible thing that just occurred, but no safe outlet for talking about it and processing.

So we go through our days and we go through the years with our wounds all wrapped up in little bundles inside, except for the occasions on which they come out to show their "faces" to the public.

Sometimes we manage to wrap them up so tight that we convince ourselves that it never actually happened, perhaps like we confused a nightmarish dream with reality.

And yet we struggle, and feel a lot of pain that sometimes manifests in ways that aren't directly related to the original wound. Psychological pain can manifest as physical ailments.

But there are also the "story tellers" who miss no opportunity to share with us, in great detail, how horrible their childhoods, marriages, jobs or other situations were... but without taking any steps to actually heal and enjoy better lives.

I'm sure you've known people who seem almost proud of how much they've suffered in life.

Sometimes they even will dismiss other people who seem to be happy and have not suffered as much and say that they're "just delusional" and their happiness can't be real unless they have suffered extensively.

Occasionally I even see this unfold as a dynamic within workshops and retreats.

Sad and perhaps slightly twisted as it may sound, participants in such a gathering will actually end up having something I can only describe as "Suffering Contest."

They will spend enormous amounts of time and energy on making a point of pointing out how their wound is bigger than somebody else's wound and the pain they're feeling is more painful than somebody else's pain.

Usually, they're not very happy with me when I point out that pain and suffering is mostly a matter of perspective, and that perspectives tend to be equally valid through the eyes of the person having the experience. What traumatizes one person is not always going to be the same thing that traumatizes someone else, and insisting that your trauma is worse than somebody else's trauma doesn't actually do you much good.

And it definitely doesn't help you heal, either, while it might feel both belittling and invalidating to someone else who has had their own traumatic experience.

Whereas sharing can definitely be a powerful part of the healing journey, there are appropriate ways to do so. And raining down your troubles on everyone around you is probably not the ideal solution.

Thanks for coming to visit, and Bright Blessings to all!

---

You are not alone! (Graphic is our own)

The White Light Express Mission Statement:

Since October 2001, the mission of the White Light Express has been to offer healing and transformation through focused positive intention, meditation and prayer. Right Thought is the first step toward Right Action and consciousness. We believe that “holding the vibration” is a profound task and our divine destiny.

We appreciate you following us and upvoting if you feel moved to do so — we also really appreciate comments and feedback! If you enjoyed this post and think others might enjoy reading it, please give it a re-steem! We love you already, because across all the myriad beliefs we hold, Love IS the answer!

In addition to our blog here on Steemit, you can also find us on the White Light Express web site, on our verified Facebook page and on our twitter feed.